Bad habits can age you by 12 years, study suggests

By LINDSEY TANNER, AP Medical Writer - Mon Apr 26, 6:26 PM PDT

CHICAGO - Four common bad habits combined — smoking, drinking too much, inactivity and poor diet — can age you by 12 years, sobering new research suggests.

The findings are from a study that tracked nearly 5,000 British adults for 20 years, and they highlight yet another reason to adopt a healthier lifestyle.

Overall, 314 people studied had all four unhealthy behaviors. Among them, 91 died during the study, or 29 percent. Among the 387 healthiest people with none of the four habits, only 32 died, or about 8 percent.

The risky behaviors were: smoking tobacco; downing more than three alcoholic drinks per day for men and more than two daily for women; getting less than two hours of physical activity per week; and eating fruits and vegetables fewer than three times daily.

These habits combined substantially increased the risk of death and made people who engaged in them seem 12 years older than people in the healthiest group, said lead researcher Elisabeth Kvaavik of the University of Oslo.

The study appears in Monday's Archives of Internal Medicine.

The healthiest group included never-smokers and those who had quit; teetotalers, women who had fewer than two drinks daily and men who had fewer than three; those who got at least two hours of physical activity weekly; and those who ate fruits and vegetables at least three times daily.

"You don't need to be extreme" to be in the healthy category, Kvaavik said. "These behaviors add up, so together it's quite good. It should be possible for most people to manage to do it."

For example, one carrot, one apple and a glass of orange juice would suffice for the fruit and vegetable cutoffs in the study, Kvaavik said, noting that the amounts are pretty modest and less strict than many guidelines.

The U.S. government generally recommends at least 4 cups of fruits or vegetables daily for adults, depending on age and activity level; and about 2 1/2 hours of exercise weekly.

Study participants were 4,886 British adults aged 18 and older, or 44 years old on average. They were randomly selected from participants in a separate nationwide British health survey. Study subjects were asked about various lifestyle habits only once, a potential limitation, but Kvaavik said those habits tend to be fairly stable in adulthood.

Death certificates were checked for the next 20 years. The most common causes of death included heart disease and cancer, both related to unhealthy lifestyles.

Kvaavik said her results are applicable to other westernized nations including the United States.

June Stevens, a University of North Carolina public health researcher, said the results are in line with previous studies that examined the combined effects of health-related habits on longevity.

The findings don't mean that everyone who maintains a healthy lifestyle will live longer than those who don't, but it will increase the odds, Stevens said.

The Ten Worst Job Interview Questions

Worst job interview questions listed here are asked many times by novice HR Managers. Read it all to see if you have ever been asked one of these questions. Good interview question are important as they help employers evaluate the the technical qualifications, people skills, problem solving approach, and team playing abilities of potential employees. Worst interview questions do none of these. Instead, they confuse, irritate and sometimes even offend the applicant. This Top 10 worst job interview questions list contain all the questions that fit one or more of the following criteria:

1. Illegal – Ask about certain topics which an employee has no right to question about. The one being interviewed can even sue the person. Employers and Recruiters are Warned to stay clear of such questions.
2. Useless – These Questions test trivial knowledge that has no relevancy and most often be asked in situations where the interviewer is trying to impress his colleagues present.
3. Copycat – These kind of questions are often downloaded from web and the interviewer often have them in printed form in front of them. this is just too lame. Everyone knows answer to those. They have been asked over a million times.

Enough rambling, here are Recruiter’s Blogs Top 10 worst job interview questions.It is very important to point out that if you are asked one of these questions or somewhat like this.Please note that being asked any of these questions. You should take a step back and re-consider for a while. Can you really trust your livelihood and sanity with this organization? What follows is the list.

Question 1: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Question 2: What is your biggest weakness?
Question 3: Do you ever abuse alcohol or drugs?
Question 4: What is the airspeed of an Jet Flying MACH2?
Question 5: How do you define sexual harassment?
Question 6: If you were a ‘Lost’ character, which one would you be?
Question 7: Can you work under pressure?
Question 8: Why did you take the pen from me?
Question 9: Have you ever brought a lawsuit against an employer?
Question 10: What interests you about our company?

How to Answer 5 Common Interview Questions

Every one who has ever given an interview knows the common interview questions that people ask you about you. These questions appear innocent, but in reality they are potential job killers. To answer these common interview questions right is very important.

As an experienced headhunter I will share with you the best ways to answer those questions so you can get the edge on other applicants. I will provide you the ultimate secrets to crushing these questions. Here is how I think you should answer five of the most common interview questions about yourself.

*1*Tell me about yourself.


This is a tricky question for a lot of people. You don’t want to sound egotistical, but you have to sell yourself. It’s best to prepare a short statement in advance covering you’re accomplishments and future goals. Then, memorize and rehearse your statement out loud either in front of a mirror or video camera. It’s also a good idea to practice on a friend or spouse and get their feedback.

*2*Why did you leave or want to leave your current job?


The secret to this common interview question is to stay positive and be honest. No matter how much you’re tempted, don’t say anything negative about previous employers. If you were let go from your last job, don’t lie. When they do a reference check they’re likely to find out. It’s better they hear it from you up front. When they ask what happened, tell your story in the best possible way for yourself as you can, and no matter what, stay positive about your previous employer.

*3*What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?


Telling them your strengths is pretty straight forward, just keep them in line with what the job you’re applying for requires. Most people get tripped up on their weaknesses. What you want do is be honest about your weaknesses, but put a positive spin on them.
Example: “Spending too much time polishing my presentations has always been a weakness, that’s why I set definite deadlines and stick to them.”

*4*How would your coworkers describe you?

This common interview question is best handled with examples. They can be exact quotes or paraphrased. Having a couple ready like “Miranda, who I worked with at ABC inc. always said I was the most organized person she’d ever seen.” Statements like that are just as good as if Miranda were there and made them herself.

*5*Give me an example of how you handled …


Questions like these are designed to give the interviewer a glimpse of what you’re like on the job. So make sure you have a couple already planned out. It’s best to give examples that are similar to the duties of the job you’re applying for. Also, you want your examples to show how you handled difficult situations and delivered for your employer.

When you go out for job interviews, you’re going to run into these common interview questions. The secret is to be prepared. Remember to stay positive, be honest and prepare examples in advance, and these common interview questions won’t be able to keep you from the job you want.

How To Tell If a Job Interview Went Well?

How to tell if a job interview went well? That is the most common question, which comes in our mind after every interview, and really this question, according to my experience always has most unpredicted answer.

Its unpredictable because even if interview went well, the final decision depends on other candidates also, as at the time of interview, you were not the only one present, there were other candidates also. Sometime there are more brilliant candidates than you and even if your interview went well you might not get the job.

Being selected in interview also depends on luck.

But then again, usually if the interview goes well you will get that call back. So how can you really tell how you did?

Here are some hints that at least can give you some idea of how the job interview went:

* Did they lean in toward you with enthusiasm?
* Did you see a good deal of open body language in them? Unlike they were sitting with closed arms to their body with un-relaxing mood.
* Any such thing like their hands or body position matched with yours sometimes that happens and shows a feeling of being in synch.
* Did you see them smiling or nodding while you were speaking.
* Is the interview gone longer than 15 minutes?
* Were they sticking to a script or they follow up on the things that you said? (Some places require the script, so this only helps for places that don’t.)
* Did you heard from them anything like “ when you are working here” or “ you’ll see for yourself”?
* Did they ask you “when you can start? If it was asked then how it was phrased if it was a standard interview question then it might be delivered quickly if not then there might be follow up questions or comments.
* If you were asked that you had any last questions, was that said to you with a smile leaning in toward you with real interest or least showing open body language?
* Did they tell you that you’d hear from them soon?
* Any real connection you felt from their body language or questions?

More “yes” answers to above mentioned questions means that it went better and its not for sure that it gone negative if mostly answers are “no”.

Every place has different interview style and there is no standard measuring technique for assessing the interview result.

The most important thing if you were noticing each and every one of these thing during interview, then keep in mind that you are not position to assess how it went. Just try to relax and set your mind on one point and focus on the interviewer’s questions and what you had answered. Your instincts will give you a better idea that how it had gone.

But at the end if you haven’t got the job you might be thinking what thing other candidate was having that you don’t have. For you its best that just calm down and congratulate yourself on doing the best you could and then just get on with enjoying your life. You had done all that you can.

If you are fit for them then they call you if not then better luck for next time. May be next time you will get better job than this one because luck matters a lot also.

Interview Thank You Notes

You should not forget to keep records of your phone interviews by writing interview thank you notes. It is not merely a nice thing to do, but it also helps your successful job search. If the company will feel that you respect them they will be more likely to remember you. They will try to promote help you in your job application and recommend you to others. Be sure to restate your interest in the job and emphasize your qualifications. This letter should also be sent out within 24 hours of completing the interview.

The letter can be divided into three paragraphs, that can be formed with following information.

In the opening paragraph, show gratitude to the interviewer for taking the time to interview you. Mention the date on which you interviewed and personalize your letter. Hopefully, you have already received an email from the interviewer before the phone interview, so you should have the interviewer’s name. But if not, you can ask the interviewer during the phone interviewer.

In the next paragraph, restate you interest in the position and mention some of your most important credentials based on what you learned through the interview. You can also underline your significant skills that you forgot or did have time to cite during the phone interview.

In the final paragraph, express your appreciation for the phone interview and affirm your interest in the position and the company once more.

The following is a sample interview thank you note after phone interview:

Mr. Tom Mathew
Director of Human Resources
ABC Company
876 Central St
New York, CA 90010

Dear Mr. Tom:

Thank you for taking the time on __________ to discuss the Software Engineer vacancy at XYZ company. I have enclosed my resume, as you requested for further consideration.

I have an excellent knowledge and skills in the full life cycle of software design process including requirements definition, prototyping, proof of concept, design, interface implementation, testing, and maintenance. I’m also familiar with financial software products.

I suggest a personal interview to discuss further my qualifications. I can be available at your suitable time and day. I will look forward to hear from you soon. Thank you once again for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Job Seeker

25 Signs that you will never make it to the top!

Making to the top in corporate ladder is everyone’s dream. It take guts and luck, and lots of it to get to the top. I don’t know a single world class leader who made it to the top and showed any of the signs I have listed below. as they say *hit can take you to the top, but it won’t help you stay there…

Read through the list carefully and see where you are lacking and try to cover up those personality flaws to become a great team player and leader….

1. You fail to keep your promises, agreements and commitments.
2. You serve your self first and others only when it is convenient.
3. You micromanage and resist delegating.
4. You demonstrate an inconsistency between what you say and how you behave.
5. You fail to share critical information with your colleagues.
6. You choose to not tell the truth.
7. You resort to blaming and scapegoating others rather than own your mistakes.
8. You judge, and criticize rather than offer constructive feedback.
9. You betray confidences, gossip and talk about others behind their backs.
10. You choose to not allow others to contribute or make decisions.
11. You downplay others’ talents, knowledge and skills.
12. You refuse to support others with their professional development.
13. You resist creating shared values, expectations and intentions in favor of your own agenda; you refuse to compromise and foster win-lose arguments.
14. You refuse to be held accountable by your colleagues.
15. You resist discussing your personal life, allowing your vulnerability, disclosing your weaknesses and admitting your relationship challenges.
16. You rationalize sarcasm, put-down humor and off-putting remarks as “good for the group”.
17. You fail to admit you need support and don’t ask colleagues for help.
18. You take others’ suggestions and critiques as personal attacks.
19. You fail to speak up in team meetings and avoid contributing constructively.
20. You refuse to consider the idea of constructive conflict and avoid conflict at all costs.
21. You consistently hijack team meetings and move them off topic.
22. You refuse to follow through on decisions agreed upon at team meetings.
23. You secretly engage in back-door negotiations with other team members to create your own alliances.
24. You refuse to give others the benefit of the doubt and prefer to judge them without asking them to explain their position or actions.
25. You refuse to apologize for mistakes, misunderstandings and inappropriate behavior and dig your heels in to defend yourself and protect your reputation.
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Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years Time? – Interview Question

In a job interview the most common question that is usually asked during the interview is “where do you see yourself five years from now? This article will discuss the meaning or importance behind this question and how an individual can answer this question intelligently.
Employers seek for those employers that have potential for further personal growth and advancement. This will enable the employee to contribute effectively to the organization. In other words, they are looking for those employees who have a clear mindset about what they wish to accomplish and by what means i.e a career plan in order to achieve career goals and objective.

Second, most important element that is observed by the employer is the candidate’s motivation level. The employee should be highly motivated towards the position offered to him.

Two important points that are taken into consideration by the employer include:

1. Whether the candidate will accept any job offer or does he consider his job search target and career objectives.

2. Whether he will be adding any value to the organization or not.

Two basic responses that an employer expects from an individual include:

* His/her clear and realistic career vision
* The ideal response” I see myself progressing in my field as well as in the company, learning new skills to the benefit of the company. I find this job very challenging and motivating. I can see many challenges ahead and therefore, willing to invest my five years time learning all aspects of the job towards professional advancement. “

Hope you find this advice useful in your upcoming job interviews. Remember to be confident and stay focused, replying to all the questions with self-assurance.

How to Cultivate Compassion in Your Life

Why develop compassion in your life? Well, there are scientific studies that suggest there are physical benefits to practicing compassion.[1] But there are other benefits as well, and these are emotional and spiritual. The main benefit is that it helps you to be more happy, and brings others around you to be more happy. If we agree that it is a common aim of each of us to strive to be happy, then compassion is one of the main tools for achieving that happiness. It is therefore of utmost importance that we cultivate compassion in our lives and practice compassion every day.

How do we do that? This guide contains 7 different practices that you can try out and perhaps incorporate into your every day life.

Steps


1
Develop a morning ritual. Greet each morning with a ritual. Try this one, suggested by the Dalai Lama: “Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” Then, when you’ve done this, try one of the practices below.


2
Practice empathy. The first step in cultivating compassion is to develop empathy for your fellow human beings. Many of us believe that we have empathy, and on some level nearly all of us do. But many times we are centered on ourselves and we let our sense of empathy get rusty. Try this practice: Imagine that a loved one is suffering. Something terrible has happened to him or her. Now try to imagine the pain they are going through. Imagine the suffering in as much detail as possible. After doing this practice for a couple of weeks, you should try moving on to imagining the suffering of others you know, not just those who are close to you.

* To keep empathy from turning into sympathy, keep your focus on the other person, rather than allowing your empathy to shift your focus to your own experience and memory of suffering.[2]

3
Practice commonalities. Instead of recognizing the differences between yourself and others, try to recognize what you have in common. At the root of it all, we are all human beings. We need food, and shelter, and love. We crave attention, and recognition, and affection, and above all, happiness. Reflect on these commonalities you have with every other human being, and ignore the differences. One favorite exercise comes from a great article from Ode Magazine — it’s a five-step exercise to try when you meet friends and strangers. Do it discreetly and try to do all the steps with the same person. With your attention geared to the other person, tell yourself:[3]


1. Step 1: “Just like me, this person is seeking happiness in his/her life.”
2. Step 2: “Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life.”
3. Step 3: “Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair.”
4. Step 4: “Just like me, this person is seeking to fill his/her needs.”
5. Step 5: “Just like me, this person is learning about life.”

4
Practice relief of suffering. Once you can empathize with another person, and understand his humanity and suffering, the next step is to want that person to be free from suffering. This is the heart of compassion — actually the definition of it. Try this exercise: Imagine the suffering of a human being you’ve met recently. Now imagine that you are the one going through that suffering. Reflect on how much you would like that suffering to end. Reflect on how happy you would be if another human being desired your suffering to end, and acted upon it. Open your heart to that human being and if you feel even a little that you’d want their suffering to end, reflect on that feeling. That’s the feeling that you want to develop. With constant practice, that feeling can be grown and nurtured.

* A study suggests that the more you meditate on compassion, the more your brain reorganizes itself to feel empathy towards others.[4]

5
Practice the act of kindness. Now that you’ve gotten good at the fourth practice, take the exercise a step further. Imagine again the suffering of someone you know or met recently. Imagine again that you are that person, and are going through that suffering. Now imagine that another human being would like your suffering to end — perhaps your mother or another loved one. What would you like for that person to do to end your suffering? Now reverse roles: you are the person who desires for the other person’s suffering to end. Imagine that you do something to help ease the suffering, or end it completely. Once you get good at this stage, practice doing something small each day to help end the suffering of others, even in a tiny way. Even a smile, or a kind word, or doing an errand or chore, or just talking about a problem with another person. Practice doing something kind to help ease the suffering of others. When you are good at this, find a way to make it a daily practice, and eventually a throughout-the-day practice.

6
Move beyond to practice compassion for those who mistreat us. The final stage in these compassion practices is to not only want to ease the suffering of those we love and meet, but even those who mistreat us. When we encounter someone who mistreats us, instead of acting in anger, withdraw. Later, when you are calm and more detached, reflect on that person who mistreated you. Try to imagine the background of that person. Try to imagine what that person was taught as a child. Try to imagine the day or week that person was going through, and what kind of bad things had happened to that person. Try to imagine the mood and state of mind that person was in — the suffering that person must have been going through to mistreat you that way. And understand that their action was not about you, but about what they were going through. Now think some more about the suffering of that poor person, and see if you can imagine trying to stop the suffering of that person. And then reflect that if you mistreated someone, and they acted with kindness and compassion toward you, whether that would make you less likely to mistreat that person the next time, and more likely to be kind to that person. Once you have mastered this practice of reflection, try acting with compassion and understanding the next time a person treats you. Do it in little doses, until you are good at it. Practice makes perfect.

* It will take time to manage your emotions to the extent that you can practice full compassion, but the following techniques will help; in addition, people who practiced them in a study produced 100 percent more DHEA, which is a hormone that counteracts the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol — the “stress hormone.”[5]

o Cut-through: Observe your feelings, focusing on your heart. Pretend you're someone outside of the situation, giving yourself advice like "Relax, it's no big deal." Imagine your negative feelings getting absorbed and diffused by your heart. This will help you transform rather than repress your negative feelings.[6]
o Heart lock-in: Quiet your mind and focus your attention on your heart. Tap into feelings that you have towards someone or something you love easily, and try to stay with that feeling for ten or fifteen minutes. Then imagine sending those feelings to yourself and others.[7]
* You may also want to read How to Forgive.

7
Develop an evening routine. It is highly recommended that you take a few minutes before you go to bed to reflect upon your day. Think about the people you met and talked to, and how you treated each other. Think about your goal that you stated this morning, to act with compassion towards others. How well did you do? What could you do better? What did you learn from your experiences today? And if you have time, try one of the above practices and exercises.

How to Know if You're Dealing With an Ideologue

Simply put, an ideologue is someone who is dedicated to a certain way of thinking, whether it is political, philosophical or religious in nature in a nearly fanatical way. They can be very difficult to deal with. This simple guide will help you figure out whether a person is an ideologue.


1
Pay attention to your conversations with them. See if they always want to talk about a certain topic, even if you have either hinted or have told them outright that you don't want to talk about it. Try using the tactics in How to Avoid Uncomfortable Conversations About Religion (whether the topic is religion or not) and see how they respond.



2
Analyse the relationship as it has developed over time. Think back and remember how your relationship with this person came into existence. An ideologue will at first seem genuinely interested in your opinions, but over time will become impatient with you once they see that you are not going to convert to theirs without serious consideration. An ideologue often has what could be called a 'missionary complex'-- they seem determined to convert others to their viewpoint regardless of the cost.

3
Check their attitudes on opposing viewpoints. There is no such thing as compromise with an ideologue. Generally, an ideologue doesn't understand the concept of 'agree to disagree'. To use a cliché, they see everything in black and white.

4
Reflect on their communication habits. An ideologue will seem well versed in whatever belief system they are committed to, and will often quotes facts and statistics as if they have rehearsed them. Even if you do have information to back your ideas, an ideologue will present their ideas in a manner that prevents you from presenting yours- they will cut off your side of the conversation, for example.

5
Think about how they present their ideas. An ideologue will often present their ideas and opinions as material facts, regardless if there is evidence to the contrary. They also will start with discussions gently, but as time goes on, they will become more and more aggressive.


Tips

* There is nothing wrong with being devoted or passionate about your beliefs. The difference is that a passionate person can understand objections to their ideas, and can resist the temptation to bring up the issue. An ideologue can't do either of these things.


* You won't win the argument. If you don't want to slam the door and end the relationship, the easy path is to 'play dumb' whenever they bring up their hot topic. Regardless of how many facts you give, they will always be convinced that they're right and that you're either misguided (if they think you might give in) or wrong (if they sense that you've rejected their ideas).
*You might try the therapist path with the techniques of nonviolent communication, repeating back their points patiently, trying to make them feel heard.
*The cat-with-a-mouse path is to take their position and pull them further than they want to go. "Did Jesus give up possessions, can you talk about what He said about poverty?"
* There are many ways to end a relationship with an ideologue. You can simply 'fade out' from their life, write a letter, or verbally tell them that the relationship is over and leave immediately.

Warnings

* It can be hard to pick up on an ideologue at first, but it will be obvious once they are irritated by your rejection of their ideas.

How to Be a Good Boss

Be a good boss by being someone your employees appreciate.
Be a good boss by being someone your employees appreciate.

You're the boss. But it's no fun (and very difficult) being a boss who is not respected, ineffective at managing staff, or is even actively disliked. How do you get your staff to be the best thing that ever happened to you? By being the best boss that ever happened to them. This article is intended to be helpful in a smaller, more casual setting. Although the tips could be helpful to a person in a larger, more formal executive setting, some would not be appropriate in those settings - see How to Be A Good Manager for advice in a more formal setting. But if you're someone who is pretty much the ultimate authority in his or her company or store (a small business owner or a general manager (GM) for a retail store, for example) here's how to be a good boss.


1
Realize that management succeeds via the efforts of the workers. Because you're in charge doesn't mean you deserve all the credit for the work being done. Your staff is responsible for the bulk of the work. You are leading them as they get it done to be sure all regulations are complied with, etc., but they are doing the actual work. Taking credit for their efforts will surely undermine your leadership.


2
Delegate responsibility and then trust your people. Micro-managers are never appreciated. Once you've trained someone to handle a task, allow him or her to handle it without interference. Different people have different approaches, and someone else's way of doing something may be just as efficient as the way you would do it. Before you step in and force your way on anyone, give an honest evaluation to the method, and if you find it works just as well, even if it's different from yours, let it be. Constantly correcting your people undercuts their confidence and does not allow them to exercise their own style.

3
Know your employees to know your strength. Watch your staff, get to know them as individuals. Understand their motives: Why do they work in this company? Why do they work in this department? What excites them? Some may love the work. Some may love the flexible hours. Some may love the retirement plan. Whatever that is, do your best to understand. That allows you to enhance, adjust and align their motives with your goals. The cream always rises to the top, and it's your job to figure out which employees do what is required in their jobs, and which employees do all they can in their jobs. There is a huge distinction.

4
Clone yourself - many times. Once you've identified good candidates, teach them your job. That's right. Teach them to be you. Most bad bosses are under the (mistaken) impression that there is something threatening about this, because the bad boss thinks that s/he is the only one who can perform a given function. The truth is, the best boss trusts his or her staff and re-creates himself many times over so that in case of emergencies, or in his absence, the Good Boss has excellent help that can be utterly relied upon. If you happen to be an entrepreneur/owner, cloning yourself means that you don't need to go to work as much, freeing you to do as you please, knowing your business is earning as much today without you there as it would if you had to go there and slave away. And remember, too, that you're creating another Good Boss!

5
Empower your staff to make critical decisions, and don't second-guess them. If you've done a good job of training your people to be your proxies, then you must believe they are doing their best to act in your (and your company's) best interest. Even if they make a wrong decision, or handle a situation in a way you would not have, don't second guess or berate them. Instead, use it as yet another training opportunity. Hear out their reasons for their action - most of the time, when taken in context, there was a logical basis for what they decided to do.

* Example: Once the employee has explained his or her rationale, try saying, "Given what you've told me, I now understand why that seemed like the way to go. However, in the future, I would like you to try handling it this way (then explain the way you want them to do it). If you have a problem doing it that way, you can always call me for help."


6
Create a clear chain of command. If you are the owner and have a manager, be sure the rest of the staff understands the chain - they are to take problems to the manager first, and only if they are still unsatisfied should they escalate it to you. When leaving, say, "Franki, you're in charge." This lets any additional staff know who's the boss in your absence, plus, goofy as it sounds, it makes Franki square up her shoulders and realize that she now "has the bridge." If customers are there, so much the better - you are putting your faith and trust in Franki right in front of them. They feel it, Franki feels it - and by gracefully handing the reins to her, you just went up a notch in the esteem of your right hand woman and your customers.

7
Help them learn to work out issues without your intervention. Sometimes one or more of your staff may experience friction with others. If they come tattling on one another to you, listen to them carefully. If someone is not fulfilling his own responsibilities or is mistreating another employee, you'll need to step in and resolve the conflict yourself. But if you're satisfied it's only an issue of competition or a simple personality clash, urge them to settle it between themselves. For instance:

* Tell the complaining party, "I'm a need-to-know boss. I don't need to know about this, it's really between you and Juan. Let me talk to Juan, but once I have, if I don't get back to you, it's up to you." (If it turns out to be more than a personal problem, correct Juan then return to the complaining party and let him know that you have spoken to Juan and there should be no further problem. This lets the person know you took his complaint seriously and what to expect next time he sees Juan.)
* Talk to the other person, and upon verifying that it's a personality issue, simply let them both know that they aren't required to be friends, only to get along and get their work finished.
* Defend the other to each of them: "You know, Francesca may be a little loud and talkative, but she's the best salesperson we have, and you could learn a lot from her. Try and work it out." And to Francesca, "Juan is a quiet guy, and it may help if you let him come to you. I think he may feel a little like you're steamrolling him; the thing is, he's very organized and we need him. Try a less frontal approach. I bet you guys can work this out."
* Tell them both you believe in their abilities to work and get along. Then leave them alone, but watch carefully. Don't interfere unless they bicker in front of customers. Put a stop to anything like that instantly.

8
Deal with any problems quickly and directly. Any boss who is terribly busy totally understands this concept: "I don't need all the details. Bottom line it for me." You don't have to be so blunt that you crush people, but being direct and honest is a big time saver, and frankly, appreciated in the end. When you see a problem, deal with it quickly and don't nag your people about it later - let done be done. Try to elicit the agreement that whatever just happened was not acceptable. Remember that your goal is to promote productive behavior and retain the respect of your employee, NOT to antagonize your people, particularly in front of others. Here's an example:

* Boss: "Evan. I need you in the office for a moment." (Say this in a neutral or pleasant tone. Don't come out in front of customers or peers with your guns blazing, bellowing, "Evan, get in the office NOW." This is between you and Evan.) Privately, once all prying eyes are away:
* Boss: "Evan, the cell phone call. Is everything okay with your family?"
* Evan: "Yes, it was just my dad wanting some help later..."
* Boss: "Okay, I see. We're all human, but when you're out on the sales floor, you cannot take personal calls."
* Evan: "I know. I'm sorry. It's just my dad doesn't have many opportunities to talk to me..." (the actual problem or subject of the call is irrelevant)
* Boss: "I understand; nevertheless - when you find you can't end a personal call immediately, I'd like you to leave the sales floor. When customers see you taking an obviously personal call instead of helping them, it looks bad for you and the store. Our customer is always to have priority unless you have an emergency, clear?"
* Evan: "Yeah... that was my bad."
* Boss: "Alright. Glad you understand that. Ideally, I'd like you to let your phone go to voice mail when you're at work, but at least leave the floor if you can't end the call immediately, okay? Now, are you good to return to the floor?"
* Evan: "I'm good."
* Boss: "Okay, get out there."

* And that's it. Don't belabour it, don't nag him about it, just let him get on with his job. It isn't necessary to cushion these discussions with compliments or flattery. Your employee should (A) know better than to take lengthy personal calls on the job and (B) be a grownup about discipline. You, as a Good Boss, should (A) stay cool - it's a training opportunity, and (B) be kind and calm, but firm and clear in expressing your correction of the behavior and your expectation for the future. Excessive compliments and a constant attempt to "relate" to your staff's personal issues are a waste of time, as are berating and belaboring lectures. Get to the point quickly - but without becoming strident or making a mountain out of a molehill.

9
Tell your staff how much you appreciate them - in front of customers if possible. Never hesitate to pat your employees on the back, compliment and thank them for their excellent service - if customers are there, letting them know how you value your people can go a long way toward the customers actually having more faith in the services your business provides. When your staff feel valued and appreciated, their job means more to them than simply a paycheck. When your customers know that you, as the owner (or manager) think highly of your staff, they feel confident that they're in good hands, and it gives you more freedom to leave your customers in the very capable hands of your staff. See how this becomes a "win-win-win"? By lifting up your employee while your customer was watching, ALL of you got something good from it - with zero downside.


10
Show your appreciation by doing things for them. They go the extra mile for you. You do something nice for them. Buy everyone lunch every other Wednesday. Be sure there's a supply of their favorite sodas in a small fridge for them. If you get extra tickets to something you know they would enjoy, offer it to them as a bonus for work well done. Remember their birthdays, at least enough to wish them a happy day, or buy them a cupcake.

11
Share your goals with your employees. Tell them what makes you happy and ask them directly to help you reach your goals. "Hidden agendas" in a leader are damaging to morale because they create confusion in those who work for you. Tell them things like "I like to hear praise from our customers about you", "I do not like to hear complaints from other teams about us", "My goal is to [increase our growth by 15%] [win the best team award] next year", etc. etc.. Trust that your employees are very much like you: They love to feel helpful and accomplished. Your job is to tell them how to achieve those feelings.

12
Learn to be an effective listener. Your employees deserve to be heard when they have concerns. Allow them to finish talking before you speak; do not assume that you know what they are going to tell you before they finish talking; do not form objections in your mind while they are talking. Instead try to be fully engaged while they are talking without making it about your rebuttal. Acknowledge their points, which does not mean that you agree, but does mean that you understand their concerns. Repeat their points in your own words to confirm, if necessary. You may not need to take any action, but hearing them out is important to their sense of empowerment and significance. Often, simply saying, "I appreciate your telling me this" is all that's needed to make them feel they were heard.

13
Be the boss. All these steps may not prevent from you having to assert your ultimate authority at some point. No matter how well your staff is trained or how good your leadership skills become, there will be times when you will have to remind someone that you are the final word on all matters. Being a good boss and empowering your people to make daily decisions does not mean you've abdicated your authority. If you find that someone on your staff is overstepping or has made a mistake, be decisive and firm, act swiftly and don't waffle. This may result in some deflation of that employee, but assuming you allow it to be done with once you've corrected the situation, it should pass quickly.