From the Yahoo News. Here is an advice from people who made their first million before their age of 25
Michael Dell
Age now: 45
Title/Company: Founder and CEO, Dell Computers
Made his first million by age: 19
His advice for young entrepreneurs: "You've got to be passionate about it," he said in an interview with the Academy of Achievement.
"I think people that look for great ideas to make money aren't nearly as successful as those who say, 'Okay, what do I really love to do? What am I excited about?' "
Catherine Cook
Age now: 20
Title/Company: Founder, myyearbook.com
Made her first million by age: 18
Her advice for young entrepreneurs: "Stop just thinking about it, and make it happen.
When you're young is the best time to start your own business, as you do not have the responsibilities you will have when you're older. The worst that can happen if you fail now is that you have firsthand experience to make your next venture a success."
Sean Belnick
Age now: 23
Title/Company: Founder, BizChair.com
Made his first million by age: 16
His advice for young entrepreneurs: "It is never too early to start. I started when I was 14.There was a lot of great information on the Internet. Just do the research and find a way to do what you want to do."
Juliette Brindak
ge now: 21
Title/Company: Cofounder/CEO, MissOandFriends.com
Made her first million by age: 19 (Brindak won't divulge when she earned her first million, but says that her company was valued at $15 million when she was 19)
Her advice for young entrepreneurs:: Find a solid support team who believe in your idea. "If someone starts to doubt your company and what you're doing, you need to get rid of them."
Matt Mickiewicz
Age now: 27
Title/Companies: Founder, Sitepoint, 99 Designs and Flippa
Made his first million by age: 22
His advice for young entrepreneurs: "People who say it takes money to make money are using the worst excuse ever. . . Create massive value for others by providing a solution where no other exists."
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Climb
When you try to Climb to the top, you will meet the people who give you a hand and also you will meet the people who push you down. When you meet the people that who push you down, all you need to do is just to avoid them. because they love the place where they are and they don't want you to take their place. Other hand they also admit that they don't want to go further up to reach to the top. You both has different goal. Just ignore them and keep on climbing....
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
How to Relest the Unwanted Stress
Here is a topic that is talked about by many, but is treated as being highly under-rated, usually ignored and sneered at by non-believers. Most people do not like to admit to defeat and will continuously push themselves to their limit. In hindsight they presume themselves to be emotionally, mentally and physically strong enough to endure any challenge or to overcome any obstacle or hardship thrown in their path. And yes, we have been blessed with superb physiology that confronts and deals with most difficulties. Unfortunately, in these modern times, with our fast-paced lifestyles and high expectations, we can become overburdened with insurmountable amounts of pressure.
Stress is rearing its ugly head in many different ways. There are a multitude of factors that can promote stressors, such as job insecurity or job dis-satisfaction, moving residence, death of a loved one, starting a new job or position, losing a job, first day at school, public speaking, writing an exam, pregnancy, peer pressure, keeping up to the Jones, doing or learning something beyond your comfort level or even something as simple as going to the dentist. When you find yourself in a predicament that is uncomfortable, you will usually feel a knot rising in your stomach. How it affects your body is actually much more complex and if ignored over a prolonged period of time, it can lead to serious health issues.
When stressors are present, they activate your nervous system. Your hypothalamus, which maintains your body's autonomic nervous system (or bodily functions that operate without your awareness) starts signalling your adrenal glands to produce more adrenaline and cortisol and releases these hormones into your bloodstream. Because of the influx in hormones, your heart rate, breathing rate, blood pressure and metabolism all speed up. At the same time, your blood vessels open wider allowing more blood flow to large muscle groups, which puts your muscles on alert. You experience increased stomach acid, increased cholesterol and as well, your pupils dilate to improve vision, your liver increases your body's energy by releasing stored sugar and more sweat is produced to cool your body.
These physical changes prepare you to react quickly and effectively in order to handle the pressure at that moment in time and normally your body can perform well while under pressure, but if stressors create over-reaction or if your body fails to return to its natural status quo, then this can lead to further complications. Unfortunately too much of a good thing can become disastrous. If you are overloaded with stress over an extended period of time you may feel dis-oriented, overwhelmed, flighty, scattered or unbalanced. Or even worse, it can weaken your immune system, overwork your internal organs, deplete your energy and lead to chronic illness or disease.
Stress can be indicated by many types and stages of warning signs. In the early stages, warning signs may show as insomnia or sleep disturbance, boredom, crying spells, arguing, decreased appetite, constipation or diarrhea, lack of sex drive, mild depression, procrastination, increased colds/flu, headaches, dis-interest in hobbies or sports once enjoyed, rigidity and inflexible thinking or behaviour, fatigue, marital, work or relationship discord and ulcers. If left undetected or ignored until later stages, then stress will create further damage which may show as asthma, heart conditions, severe depression, migraines, muscle or joint pain/stiffness, change of marital status, change of job, complete withdrawal from social or enjoyable events, forgetfulness, suicidal tendencies, uncontrolled rage or temperament, chronic fatigue syndrome, loss of self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, accident prone, overly agitated or an inability to maintain personal daily life.
If you suspect that you are suffering from the warning signs of stress, it is best to see your medical physician for further examination, analysis and treatment. But also be aware that overcoming the adverse effects of stress is not necessarily healed by popping medications. You will have a much better chance to restore healthy balance, mind-body-spirit, by combining your medical treatment plan to coincide with changes in your attitude, thinking and lifestyle patterns.
To release unwanted stress, the solution is to learn how to keep stress managed to your comfort level or better still, try to avoid it as much as possible. Stress-management is about learning how to welcome and deal with daily challenges, whether regarded as good or bad and to do this regularly, not just when you are in the pressure cooker mode. If you learn how to de-stress and simply keep yourself in a calm frame of mind, this can help you move through challenging circumstances. Here are different ways to help you keep stress under control.
1. Ask for help: Be aware that you cannot, nor are you expected to, know and do everything. Accept the fact that each person has limits and sometimes we need to help each other.
2. Avoid over-scheduling: Only be involved or do activities that are of interest and most important to you.
3. Avoid perfectionism: Be realistic, accept and realize that nobody is perfect, so don't expect you or others to be perfect.
4. Be Resilient. Try to go with the flow and resist trying to over-control a situation, person or circumstances. When you remain calm and cool under pressure you are better able to handle problems as they arise, because you maintain clearer focus. But building your resilience takes practice and patience by developing a positive attitude and behaviour in these different areas, so remember to....
1. Welcome change as a challenge and allow it to be part of your normal life
2. View obstacles or setbacks as a being temporary and believe that all will be solved for the highest good for all concerned
3. As each problem or roadblock arises, take the time to be pro-active in solving the dilemma in a peaceful manner
4. Surround yourself with strong, loving, positive-thinking, supportive friends and family
5. Ask your supportive friends and family for help when needed, but avoid becoming co-dependent
6. Enjoy yourself, have fun, relax, remain humble and always show gratitude
5. Break down your problems: Instead of becoming overwhelmed by trying to solve a huge problem all at once, learn to break it into smaller segments or categories, so that you feel a sense of control. Then calmly look at each category one by one, evaluate your options, list pros and cons, look at the bigger picture to assess how it affects your future before arriving at a conclusion. By learning this strategy you will build inner confidence and this in turn will reduce unnecessary stress. Avoid ignoring the problem altogether, because ignorance is not bliss and the problem won't magically disappear. Instead, it will remain unsolved, which will only add to your plate of stress and increase your lack of control.
6. Exercise: Maintain a daily exercise routine to strengthen your muscles and cardio-vascular system. Exercise also stimulates your lymphatic system to releases waste/toxins from your body, increases blood flow to your brain and circulates energy throughout your entire system.
7. Honour your body: Avoid abusing your body through excess use of drugs, alcohol, over-eating, smoking or over-indulgence of junk foods.
8. Maintain proper sleep: This keeps you better equipped, mentally and physically, by providing increased clarity and focus when dealing with stressors. If necessary, rejuvenate by taking short ten or fifteen minute power naps during the day.
9. Monitor your thinking: All thoughts are energy, all action follows a thought; therefore, you control your reality in which your outlook, attitude and re-actions influence your life. Energy attracts the same frequency vibration, so what you think, you will get or attract; therefore, be very careful what you think or wish for.
10. Nutrition: Eat a balanced variety of nutritious foods, drink eight, eight-ounce glasses of water, reduce fats and sugar and supplement with additional vitamins and minerals.
11. Relax: This creates calmness and a sense of well-being. So the next time you feel yourself tense up, breathe slowly, deeply and evenly until you feel calmer. Your body's chemical imbalances can be reversed or greatly improved simply by relaxing. You can learn to relax through doing such activities such as: walking, simple 1-2-3-4 breathing exercises, meditation, visualizations, music, reading, painting, enjoyable hobbies, a relaxing bath, massage, Reiki, reflexology; the list goes on. It is important to find what works for you.
An important key for releasing unwanted stress and increasing your over-all success, is to regard each challenge as a golden opportunity for spiritual growth and a means to learn valuable lessons. Then regard stressors as just temporary problems or hiccups. You cannot eliminate stress altogether, otherwise you would have no motivation to do anything worthwhile or constructive; therefore you would experience no personal growth. But moderate amounts of good stress will induce you to make sensible, achievable goals, monitor your growth progress, allow yourself time for relaxation and enjoyment, remain optimistic, believe in your capabilities, plus make positive choices to live your life to its fullest potential.
One final word of advice.... refuse to allow stress to control or dominate you; instead, make the effort to learn how to control and tame it.
About the Author
This article was written by Margaret Jang, who has been channelling inspirational guidance/teachings from Spirit, in poetry format since 2002. Margaret is a healing facilitator for Reiki & gemstone therapy and is also an instructor offering courses and workshops for Reiki, gemstone healing & psychic/soul development. She resides in Vancouver, BC and may be contacted at www.onesourcelearn.com or phone 604-879-7201.
Stress is rearing its ugly head in many different ways. There are a multitude of factors that can promote stressors, such as job insecurity or job dis-satisfaction, moving residence, death of a loved one, starting a new job or position, losing a job, first day at school, public speaking, writing an exam, pregnancy, peer pressure, keeping up to the Jones, doing or learning something beyond your comfort level or even something as simple as going to the dentist. When you find yourself in a predicament that is uncomfortable, you will usually feel a knot rising in your stomach. How it affects your body is actually much more complex and if ignored over a prolonged period of time, it can lead to serious health issues.
When stressors are present, they activate your nervous system. Your hypothalamus, which maintains your body's autonomic nervous system (or bodily functions that operate without your awareness) starts signalling your adrenal glands to produce more adrenaline and cortisol and releases these hormones into your bloodstream. Because of the influx in hormones, your heart rate, breathing rate, blood pressure and metabolism all speed up. At the same time, your blood vessels open wider allowing more blood flow to large muscle groups, which puts your muscles on alert. You experience increased stomach acid, increased cholesterol and as well, your pupils dilate to improve vision, your liver increases your body's energy by releasing stored sugar and more sweat is produced to cool your body.
These physical changes prepare you to react quickly and effectively in order to handle the pressure at that moment in time and normally your body can perform well while under pressure, but if stressors create over-reaction or if your body fails to return to its natural status quo, then this can lead to further complications. Unfortunately too much of a good thing can become disastrous. If you are overloaded with stress over an extended period of time you may feel dis-oriented, overwhelmed, flighty, scattered or unbalanced. Or even worse, it can weaken your immune system, overwork your internal organs, deplete your energy and lead to chronic illness or disease.
Stress can be indicated by many types and stages of warning signs. In the early stages, warning signs may show as insomnia or sleep disturbance, boredom, crying spells, arguing, decreased appetite, constipation or diarrhea, lack of sex drive, mild depression, procrastination, increased colds/flu, headaches, dis-interest in hobbies or sports once enjoyed, rigidity and inflexible thinking or behaviour, fatigue, marital, work or relationship discord and ulcers. If left undetected or ignored until later stages, then stress will create further damage which may show as asthma, heart conditions, severe depression, migraines, muscle or joint pain/stiffness, change of marital status, change of job, complete withdrawal from social or enjoyable events, forgetfulness, suicidal tendencies, uncontrolled rage or temperament, chronic fatigue syndrome, loss of self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, accident prone, overly agitated or an inability to maintain personal daily life.
If you suspect that you are suffering from the warning signs of stress, it is best to see your medical physician for further examination, analysis and treatment. But also be aware that overcoming the adverse effects of stress is not necessarily healed by popping medications. You will have a much better chance to restore healthy balance, mind-body-spirit, by combining your medical treatment plan to coincide with changes in your attitude, thinking and lifestyle patterns.
To release unwanted stress, the solution is to learn how to keep stress managed to your comfort level or better still, try to avoid it as much as possible. Stress-management is about learning how to welcome and deal with daily challenges, whether regarded as good or bad and to do this regularly, not just when you are in the pressure cooker mode. If you learn how to de-stress and simply keep yourself in a calm frame of mind, this can help you move through challenging circumstances. Here are different ways to help you keep stress under control.
1. Ask for help: Be aware that you cannot, nor are you expected to, know and do everything. Accept the fact that each person has limits and sometimes we need to help each other.
2. Avoid over-scheduling: Only be involved or do activities that are of interest and most important to you.
3. Avoid perfectionism: Be realistic, accept and realize that nobody is perfect, so don't expect you or others to be perfect.
4. Be Resilient. Try to go with the flow and resist trying to over-control a situation, person or circumstances. When you remain calm and cool under pressure you are better able to handle problems as they arise, because you maintain clearer focus. But building your resilience takes practice and patience by developing a positive attitude and behaviour in these different areas, so remember to....
1. Welcome change as a challenge and allow it to be part of your normal life
2. View obstacles or setbacks as a being temporary and believe that all will be solved for the highest good for all concerned
3. As each problem or roadblock arises, take the time to be pro-active in solving the dilemma in a peaceful manner
4. Surround yourself with strong, loving, positive-thinking, supportive friends and family
5. Ask your supportive friends and family for help when needed, but avoid becoming co-dependent
6. Enjoy yourself, have fun, relax, remain humble and always show gratitude
5. Break down your problems: Instead of becoming overwhelmed by trying to solve a huge problem all at once, learn to break it into smaller segments or categories, so that you feel a sense of control. Then calmly look at each category one by one, evaluate your options, list pros and cons, look at the bigger picture to assess how it affects your future before arriving at a conclusion. By learning this strategy you will build inner confidence and this in turn will reduce unnecessary stress. Avoid ignoring the problem altogether, because ignorance is not bliss and the problem won't magically disappear. Instead, it will remain unsolved, which will only add to your plate of stress and increase your lack of control.
6. Exercise: Maintain a daily exercise routine to strengthen your muscles and cardio-vascular system. Exercise also stimulates your lymphatic system to releases waste/toxins from your body, increases blood flow to your brain and circulates energy throughout your entire system.
7. Honour your body: Avoid abusing your body through excess use of drugs, alcohol, over-eating, smoking or over-indulgence of junk foods.
8. Maintain proper sleep: This keeps you better equipped, mentally and physically, by providing increased clarity and focus when dealing with stressors. If necessary, rejuvenate by taking short ten or fifteen minute power naps during the day.
9. Monitor your thinking: All thoughts are energy, all action follows a thought; therefore, you control your reality in which your outlook, attitude and re-actions influence your life. Energy attracts the same frequency vibration, so what you think, you will get or attract; therefore, be very careful what you think or wish for.
10. Nutrition: Eat a balanced variety of nutritious foods, drink eight, eight-ounce glasses of water, reduce fats and sugar and supplement with additional vitamins and minerals.
11. Relax: This creates calmness and a sense of well-being. So the next time you feel yourself tense up, breathe slowly, deeply and evenly until you feel calmer. Your body's chemical imbalances can be reversed or greatly improved simply by relaxing. You can learn to relax through doing such activities such as: walking, simple 1-2-3-4 breathing exercises, meditation, visualizations, music, reading, painting, enjoyable hobbies, a relaxing bath, massage, Reiki, reflexology; the list goes on. It is important to find what works for you.
An important key for releasing unwanted stress and increasing your over-all success, is to regard each challenge as a golden opportunity for spiritual growth and a means to learn valuable lessons. Then regard stressors as just temporary problems or hiccups. You cannot eliminate stress altogether, otherwise you would have no motivation to do anything worthwhile or constructive; therefore you would experience no personal growth. But moderate amounts of good stress will induce you to make sensible, achievable goals, monitor your growth progress, allow yourself time for relaxation and enjoyment, remain optimistic, believe in your capabilities, plus make positive choices to live your life to its fullest potential.
One final word of advice.... refuse to allow stress to control or dominate you; instead, make the effort to learn how to control and tame it.
About the Author
This article was written by Margaret Jang, who has been channelling inspirational guidance/teachings from Spirit, in poetry format since 2002. Margaret is a healing facilitator for Reiki & gemstone therapy and is also an instructor offering courses and workshops for Reiki, gemstone healing & psychic/soul development. She resides in Vancouver, BC and may be contacted at www.onesourcelearn.com or phone 604-879-7201.
Monday, May 17, 2010
How to Be a Better Person
1. Decide what it is that you consider a 'good' person to be. You can do this by observing people you love or respect, and by observing what causes people to make major mistakes or do wrong.
2. Observe and befriend people who you consider a good influence, but don't expect them to be saints. They may make mistakes because they don't realize they have the virtues you see in them. Never give up.
3.Make changes slowly. Try one new behavior at a time. You cannot become a better person overnight. It takes time. It is a process. You should change your habits and your mind will follow.
4.Remember that life goals can change, and who you are can change as well. Depending on your stage of life and situation. Never fail to re-evaluate and rediscover yourself.
5.Make friends. If there is someone that works or lives near you that seems devoid of a friend, reach out and help them. It is incredible the difference one person can make if they become another's friend.
6.Read. Read all of the time and about everything. People admire smart peers, and being well-educated means that you will be able to stick up for what you believe in by using fact.
7.Live life to the fullest. Try out for that school sport. Volunteer at the soup kitchen. Write that journal. Fill your life to the brim with rewarding activities and enjoy the blessings that come of them.
8.Boost your intelligence. The ability to perform mental tasks with ease is invaluable; taking simple steps in your daily life will help you to cultivate your brain power.
9.Finish college. If you haven't gone yet, make a plan to do so. There are so many opportunities that you are missing out on if you refrain from getting a formal education. Job opportunities will be opened up, you will gain respect from colleagues, along with the bonus asset that you become more intelligent. It is never too late to go to school.
10.Help others. If your best friend is in need of a lift, take him with you on your way to work. If your son is having trouble with his homework, try to take time to help him. When you help others, it not only makes you feel good, but you gain others' trust, which is invaluable to have. Helping out can also be a learning experience.
11.Spend time with your family. It is truly a learning experience to all of you. Spending quality time away from the T.V. can help you delve into the minds and hearts of your loved ones, allowing you to help them with any problems they may be experiencing and getting to genuinely know them. Studies have shown that children that eat dinner as a family are less likely to do drugs, alcohol, or be depressed. Just fifteen minutes a day with family can deeply help everyone involved.
12.Think before you speak - a good listener tends to be a good person, and trust from others will follow.
13.Stay active. Being healthy and fit allows you to perform more tasks with ease and precision. Just thirty minutes of activity a day can help you lead a healthier, longer, more fruitful life. So what are you waiting for?
14.Live a healthy lifestyle. If you want your car to perform to its fullest, you have to maintain it regularly and not abuse it. Treat your body with the same respect. Get ample sleep every night, eat/drink properly, and get exercise. You'd be amazed at how much body and mind are connected.
15.Grow towards love everyday- We all have to live in this world together for at least a small amount of time and we are all here on purpose to learn the lessons of our actions. The way we can love is by being loving and thankful. There is wisdom in all things, and all are capable of tapping the experience of pure natural and whole being. THIS LIFE IS FOR LOVE. This simple truth which begins with gratitude, forgiveness and loving awareness is for us to see our imperfections and our potential perfection. None of us are perfect.
16.Donate time to selfless love- When you give your body, mind, and strength to the loving force which is within us all and provides us with all we need. When we strike out to attack others we hurt ourselves. We get what we give.
17.Love what you do, Do what you love- If we can finally admit that we are in need of something to fill the void in our life that eats at us every moment. Until we become aware of each action and the motive behind what we are doing. Why have we done what we have done. We can unchain ourselves from Karma to live more fully.
18.Focus your mind on something positive- High motives and noble thoughts can be transferred into actions where we become aware of healing and helping all people because we are all brothers and sisters and deserve love no matter what the past or present or future. We give selfless love to all people in all times and all situations which may arise. There is justice in the world no matter what you see trust God and justice will come in a just time.
19.Pick up your dreams- Give your dreams another look. Dream again with deep determination. Remain self consciously aware throughout your day. Just remain conscious even of anger in your mind and body. Your mind creates your body. Get a hold of yourself and don't be distracted by the outside forces of life. With selfless awareness you can create a positive mind which unfolds positively effortlessly. Everyday should be the best day of your life. Give fully and receive fully into yourself.
20.Give quiet understanding- Love is the only cure to what ails you. We can enjoy company when we eat or pray or live and dream and grow together. All that you do should be for the benefit of all. Give fully of yourself to all in all energy of life for ALL times all of your forces are made of diverse energy. You must guide your energy consciously and make your mind unemotional and solid. It is not a restriction, it is a guidance.
21.Don't force others into things you do. This involves religion, work, beliefs, culture, etc. Most people are happy with who they are, and won't necessarily respond positively to shoving. Remember, not all people are religious, so don't do things like edit wikis to say that "the only way to reach happiness is God." In fact, most people who aren't religious are just as happy as those who are. That being said, religion isn't a bad thing.
22.Decide what it is making you feel you're a bad person. Everybody's different and you can't be somebody else. Accept that you are you and follow your heart. What you feel may be right, is probably right for you. You're yourself and everybody will just have to accept that.
2. Observe and befriend people who you consider a good influence, but don't expect them to be saints. They may make mistakes because they don't realize they have the virtues you see in them. Never give up.
3.Make changes slowly. Try one new behavior at a time. You cannot become a better person overnight. It takes time. It is a process. You should change your habits and your mind will follow.
4.Remember that life goals can change, and who you are can change as well. Depending on your stage of life and situation. Never fail to re-evaluate and rediscover yourself.
5.Make friends. If there is someone that works or lives near you that seems devoid of a friend, reach out and help them. It is incredible the difference one person can make if they become another's friend.
6.Read. Read all of the time and about everything. People admire smart peers, and being well-educated means that you will be able to stick up for what you believe in by using fact.
7.Live life to the fullest. Try out for that school sport. Volunteer at the soup kitchen. Write that journal. Fill your life to the brim with rewarding activities and enjoy the blessings that come of them.
8.Boost your intelligence. The ability to perform mental tasks with ease is invaluable; taking simple steps in your daily life will help you to cultivate your brain power.
9.Finish college. If you haven't gone yet, make a plan to do so. There are so many opportunities that you are missing out on if you refrain from getting a formal education. Job opportunities will be opened up, you will gain respect from colleagues, along with the bonus asset that you become more intelligent. It is never too late to go to school.
10.Help others. If your best friend is in need of a lift, take him with you on your way to work. If your son is having trouble with his homework, try to take time to help him. When you help others, it not only makes you feel good, but you gain others' trust, which is invaluable to have. Helping out can also be a learning experience.
11.Spend time with your family. It is truly a learning experience to all of you. Spending quality time away from the T.V. can help you delve into the minds and hearts of your loved ones, allowing you to help them with any problems they may be experiencing and getting to genuinely know them. Studies have shown that children that eat dinner as a family are less likely to do drugs, alcohol, or be depressed. Just fifteen minutes a day with family can deeply help everyone involved.
12.Think before you speak - a good listener tends to be a good person, and trust from others will follow.
13.Stay active. Being healthy and fit allows you to perform more tasks with ease and precision. Just thirty minutes of activity a day can help you lead a healthier, longer, more fruitful life. So what are you waiting for?
14.Live a healthy lifestyle. If you want your car to perform to its fullest, you have to maintain it regularly and not abuse it. Treat your body with the same respect. Get ample sleep every night, eat/drink properly, and get exercise. You'd be amazed at how much body and mind are connected.
15.Grow towards love everyday- We all have to live in this world together for at least a small amount of time and we are all here on purpose to learn the lessons of our actions. The way we can love is by being loving and thankful. There is wisdom in all things, and all are capable of tapping the experience of pure natural and whole being. THIS LIFE IS FOR LOVE. This simple truth which begins with gratitude, forgiveness and loving awareness is for us to see our imperfections and our potential perfection. None of us are perfect.
16.Donate time to selfless love- When you give your body, mind, and strength to the loving force which is within us all and provides us with all we need. When we strike out to attack others we hurt ourselves. We get what we give.
17.Love what you do, Do what you love- If we can finally admit that we are in need of something to fill the void in our life that eats at us every moment. Until we become aware of each action and the motive behind what we are doing. Why have we done what we have done. We can unchain ourselves from Karma to live more fully.
18.Focus your mind on something positive- High motives and noble thoughts can be transferred into actions where we become aware of healing and helping all people because we are all brothers and sisters and deserve love no matter what the past or present or future. We give selfless love to all people in all times and all situations which may arise. There is justice in the world no matter what you see trust God and justice will come in a just time.
19.Pick up your dreams- Give your dreams another look. Dream again with deep determination. Remain self consciously aware throughout your day. Just remain conscious even of anger in your mind and body. Your mind creates your body. Get a hold of yourself and don't be distracted by the outside forces of life. With selfless awareness you can create a positive mind which unfolds positively effortlessly. Everyday should be the best day of your life. Give fully and receive fully into yourself.
20.Give quiet understanding- Love is the only cure to what ails you. We can enjoy company when we eat or pray or live and dream and grow together. All that you do should be for the benefit of all. Give fully of yourself to all in all energy of life for ALL times all of your forces are made of diverse energy. You must guide your energy consciously and make your mind unemotional and solid. It is not a restriction, it is a guidance.
21.Don't force others into things you do. This involves religion, work, beliefs, culture, etc. Most people are happy with who they are, and won't necessarily respond positively to shoving. Remember, not all people are religious, so don't do things like edit wikis to say that "the only way to reach happiness is God." In fact, most people who aren't religious are just as happy as those who are. That being said, religion isn't a bad thing.
22.Decide what it is making you feel you're a bad person. Everybody's different and you can't be somebody else. Accept that you are you and follow your heart. What you feel may be right, is probably right for you. You're yourself and everybody will just have to accept that.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Bad habits can age you by 12 years, study suggests
By LINDSEY TANNER, AP Medical Writer - Mon Apr 26, 6:26 PM PDT
CHICAGO - Four common bad habits combined — smoking, drinking too much, inactivity and poor diet — can age you by 12 years, sobering new research suggests.
The findings are from a study that tracked nearly 5,000 British adults for 20 years, and they highlight yet another reason to adopt a healthier lifestyle.
Overall, 314 people studied had all four unhealthy behaviors. Among them, 91 died during the study, or 29 percent. Among the 387 healthiest people with none of the four habits, only 32 died, or about 8 percent.
The risky behaviors were: smoking tobacco; downing more than three alcoholic drinks per day for men and more than two daily for women; getting less than two hours of physical activity per week; and eating fruits and vegetables fewer than three times daily.
These habits combined substantially increased the risk of death and made people who engaged in them seem 12 years older than people in the healthiest group, said lead researcher Elisabeth Kvaavik of the University of Oslo.
The study appears in Monday's Archives of Internal Medicine.
The healthiest group included never-smokers and those who had quit; teetotalers, women who had fewer than two drinks daily and men who had fewer than three; those who got at least two hours of physical activity weekly; and those who ate fruits and vegetables at least three times daily.
"You don't need to be extreme" to be in the healthy category, Kvaavik said. "These behaviors add up, so together it's quite good. It should be possible for most people to manage to do it."
For example, one carrot, one apple and a glass of orange juice would suffice for the fruit and vegetable cutoffs in the study, Kvaavik said, noting that the amounts are pretty modest and less strict than many guidelines.
The U.S. government generally recommends at least 4 cups of fruits or vegetables daily for adults, depending on age and activity level; and about 2 1/2 hours of exercise weekly.
Study participants were 4,886 British adults aged 18 and older, or 44 years old on average. They were randomly selected from participants in a separate nationwide British health survey. Study subjects were asked about various lifestyle habits only once, a potential limitation, but Kvaavik said those habits tend to be fairly stable in adulthood.
Death certificates were checked for the next 20 years. The most common causes of death included heart disease and cancer, both related to unhealthy lifestyles.
Kvaavik said her results are applicable to other westernized nations including the United States.
June Stevens, a University of North Carolina public health researcher, said the results are in line with previous studies that examined the combined effects of health-related habits on longevity.
The findings don't mean that everyone who maintains a healthy lifestyle will live longer than those who don't, but it will increase the odds, Stevens said.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Ten Worst Job Interview Questions
Worst job interview questions listed here are asked many times by novice HR Managers. Read it all to see if you have ever been asked one of these questions. Good interview question are important as they help employers evaluate the the technical qualifications, people skills, problem solving approach, and team playing abilities of potential employees. Worst interview questions do none of these. Instead, they confuse, irritate and sometimes even offend the applicant. This Top 10 worst job interview questions list contain all the questions that fit one or more of the following criteria:
1. Illegal – Ask about certain topics which an employee has no right to question about. The one being interviewed can even sue the person. Employers and Recruiters are Warned to stay clear of such questions.
2. Useless – These Questions test trivial knowledge that has no relevancy and most often be asked in situations where the interviewer is trying to impress his colleagues present.
3. Copycat – These kind of questions are often downloaded from web and the interviewer often have them in printed form in front of them. this is just too lame. Everyone knows answer to those. They have been asked over a million times.
Enough rambling, here are Recruiter’s Blogs Top 10 worst job interview questions.It is very important to point out that if you are asked one of these questions or somewhat like this.Please note that being asked any of these questions. You should take a step back and re-consider for a while. Can you really trust your livelihood and sanity with this organization? What follows is the list.
Question 1: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Question 2: What is your biggest weakness?
Question 3: Do you ever abuse alcohol or drugs?
Question 4: What is the airspeed of an Jet Flying MACH2?
Question 5: How do you define sexual harassment?
Question 6: If you were a ‘Lost’ character, which one would you be?
Question 7: Can you work under pressure?
Question 8: Why did you take the pen from me?
Question 9: Have you ever brought a lawsuit against an employer?
Question 10: What interests you about our company?
How to Answer 5 Common Interview Questions
Every one who has ever given an interview knows the common interview questions that people ask you about you. These questions appear innocent, but in reality they are potential job killers. To answer these common interview questions right is very important.
As an experienced headhunter I will share with you the best ways to answer those questions so you can get the edge on other applicants. I will provide you the ultimate secrets to crushing these questions. Here is how I think you should answer five of the most common interview questions about yourself.
*1*Tell me about yourself.
This is a tricky question for a lot of people. You don’t want to sound egotistical, but you have to sell yourself. It’s best to prepare a short statement in advance covering you’re accomplishments and future goals. Then, memorize and rehearse your statement out loud either in front of a mirror or video camera. It’s also a good idea to practice on a friend or spouse and get their feedback.
*2*Why did you leave or want to leave your current job?
The secret to this common interview question is to stay positive and be honest. No matter how much you’re tempted, don’t say anything negative about previous employers. If you were let go from your last job, don’t lie. When they do a reference check they’re likely to find out. It’s better they hear it from you up front. When they ask what happened, tell your story in the best possible way for yourself as you can, and no matter what, stay positive about your previous employer.
*3*What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Telling them your strengths is pretty straight forward, just keep them in line with what the job you’re applying for requires. Most people get tripped up on their weaknesses. What you want do is be honest about your weaknesses, but put a positive spin on them.
Example: “Spending too much time polishing my presentations has always been a weakness, that’s why I set definite deadlines and stick to them.”
*4*How would your coworkers describe you?
This common interview question is best handled with examples. They can be exact quotes or paraphrased. Having a couple ready like “Miranda, who I worked with at ABC inc. always said I was the most organized person she’d ever seen.” Statements like that are just as good as if Miranda were there and made them herself.
*5*Give me an example of how you handled …
Questions like these are designed to give the interviewer a glimpse of what you’re like on the job. So make sure you have a couple already planned out. It’s best to give examples that are similar to the duties of the job you’re applying for. Also, you want your examples to show how you handled difficult situations and delivered for your employer.
When you go out for job interviews, you’re going to run into these common interview questions. The secret is to be prepared. Remember to stay positive, be honest and prepare examples in advance, and these common interview questions won’t be able to keep you from the job you want.
As an experienced headhunter I will share with you the best ways to answer those questions so you can get the edge on other applicants. I will provide you the ultimate secrets to crushing these questions. Here is how I think you should answer five of the most common interview questions about yourself.
*1*Tell me about yourself.
This is a tricky question for a lot of people. You don’t want to sound egotistical, but you have to sell yourself. It’s best to prepare a short statement in advance covering you’re accomplishments and future goals. Then, memorize and rehearse your statement out loud either in front of a mirror or video camera. It’s also a good idea to practice on a friend or spouse and get their feedback.
*2*Why did you leave or want to leave your current job?
The secret to this common interview question is to stay positive and be honest. No matter how much you’re tempted, don’t say anything negative about previous employers. If you were let go from your last job, don’t lie. When they do a reference check they’re likely to find out. It’s better they hear it from you up front. When they ask what happened, tell your story in the best possible way for yourself as you can, and no matter what, stay positive about your previous employer.
*3*What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Telling them your strengths is pretty straight forward, just keep them in line with what the job you’re applying for requires. Most people get tripped up on their weaknesses. What you want do is be honest about your weaknesses, but put a positive spin on them.
Example: “Spending too much time polishing my presentations has always been a weakness, that’s why I set definite deadlines and stick to them.”
*4*How would your coworkers describe you?
This common interview question is best handled with examples. They can be exact quotes or paraphrased. Having a couple ready like “Miranda, who I worked with at ABC inc. always said I was the most organized person she’d ever seen.” Statements like that are just as good as if Miranda were there and made them herself.
*5*Give me an example of how you handled …
Questions like these are designed to give the interviewer a glimpse of what you’re like on the job. So make sure you have a couple already planned out. It’s best to give examples that are similar to the duties of the job you’re applying for. Also, you want your examples to show how you handled difficult situations and delivered for your employer.
When you go out for job interviews, you’re going to run into these common interview questions. The secret is to be prepared. Remember to stay positive, be honest and prepare examples in advance, and these common interview questions won’t be able to keep you from the job you want.
How To Tell If a Job Interview Went Well?
How to tell if a job interview went well? That is the most common question, which comes in our mind after every interview, and really this question, according to my experience always has most unpredicted answer.
Its unpredictable because even if interview went well, the final decision depends on other candidates also, as at the time of interview, you were not the only one present, there were other candidates also. Sometime there are more brilliant candidates than you and even if your interview went well you might not get the job.
Being selected in interview also depends on luck.
But then again, usually if the interview goes well you will get that call back. So how can you really tell how you did?
Here are some hints that at least can give you some idea of how the job interview went:
* Did they lean in toward you with enthusiasm?
* Did you see a good deal of open body language in them? Unlike they were sitting with closed arms to their body with un-relaxing mood.
* Any such thing like their hands or body position matched with yours sometimes that happens and shows a feeling of being in synch.
* Did you see them smiling or nodding while you were speaking.
* Is the interview gone longer than 15 minutes?
* Were they sticking to a script or they follow up on the things that you said? (Some places require the script, so this only helps for places that don’t.)
* Did you heard from them anything like “ when you are working here” or “ you’ll see for yourself”?
* Did they ask you “when you can start? If it was asked then how it was phrased if it was a standard interview question then it might be delivered quickly if not then there might be follow up questions or comments.
* If you were asked that you had any last questions, was that said to you with a smile leaning in toward you with real interest or least showing open body language?
* Did they tell you that you’d hear from them soon?
* Any real connection you felt from their body language or questions?
More “yes” answers to above mentioned questions means that it went better and its not for sure that it gone negative if mostly answers are “no”.
Every place has different interview style and there is no standard measuring technique for assessing the interview result.
The most important thing if you were noticing each and every one of these thing during interview, then keep in mind that you are not position to assess how it went. Just try to relax and set your mind on one point and focus on the interviewer’s questions and what you had answered. Your instincts will give you a better idea that how it had gone.
But at the end if you haven’t got the job you might be thinking what thing other candidate was having that you don’t have. For you its best that just calm down and congratulate yourself on doing the best you could and then just get on with enjoying your life. You had done all that you can.
If you are fit for them then they call you if not then better luck for next time. May be next time you will get better job than this one because luck matters a lot also.
Its unpredictable because even if interview went well, the final decision depends on other candidates also, as at the time of interview, you were not the only one present, there were other candidates also. Sometime there are more brilliant candidates than you and even if your interview went well you might not get the job.
Being selected in interview also depends on luck.
But then again, usually if the interview goes well you will get that call back. So how can you really tell how you did?
Here are some hints that at least can give you some idea of how the job interview went:
* Did they lean in toward you with enthusiasm?
* Did you see a good deal of open body language in them? Unlike they were sitting with closed arms to their body with un-relaxing mood.
* Any such thing like their hands or body position matched with yours sometimes that happens and shows a feeling of being in synch.
* Did you see them smiling or nodding while you were speaking.
* Is the interview gone longer than 15 minutes?
* Were they sticking to a script or they follow up on the things that you said? (Some places require the script, so this only helps for places that don’t.)
* Did you heard from them anything like “ when you are working here” or “ you’ll see for yourself”?
* Did they ask you “when you can start? If it was asked then how it was phrased if it was a standard interview question then it might be delivered quickly if not then there might be follow up questions or comments.
* If you were asked that you had any last questions, was that said to you with a smile leaning in toward you with real interest or least showing open body language?
* Did they tell you that you’d hear from them soon?
* Any real connection you felt from their body language or questions?
More “yes” answers to above mentioned questions means that it went better and its not for sure that it gone negative if mostly answers are “no”.
Every place has different interview style and there is no standard measuring technique for assessing the interview result.
The most important thing if you were noticing each and every one of these thing during interview, then keep in mind that you are not position to assess how it went. Just try to relax and set your mind on one point and focus on the interviewer’s questions and what you had answered. Your instincts will give you a better idea that how it had gone.
But at the end if you haven’t got the job you might be thinking what thing other candidate was having that you don’t have. For you its best that just calm down and congratulate yourself on doing the best you could and then just get on with enjoying your life. You had done all that you can.
If you are fit for them then they call you if not then better luck for next time. May be next time you will get better job than this one because luck matters a lot also.
Interview Thank You Notes
You should not forget to keep records of your phone interviews by writing interview thank you notes. It is not merely a nice thing to do, but it also helps your successful job search. If the company will feel that you respect them they will be more likely to remember you. They will try to promote help you in your job application and recommend you to others. Be sure to restate your interest in the job and emphasize your qualifications. This letter should also be sent out within 24 hours of completing the interview.
The letter can be divided into three paragraphs, that can be formed with following information.
In the opening paragraph, show gratitude to the interviewer for taking the time to interview you. Mention the date on which you interviewed and personalize your letter. Hopefully, you have already received an email from the interviewer before the phone interview, so you should have the interviewer’s name. But if not, you can ask the interviewer during the phone interviewer.
In the next paragraph, restate you interest in the position and mention some of your most important credentials based on what you learned through the interview. You can also underline your significant skills that you forgot or did have time to cite during the phone interview.
In the final paragraph, express your appreciation for the phone interview and affirm your interest in the position and the company once more.
The following is a sample interview thank you note after phone interview:
Mr. Tom Mathew
Director of Human Resources
ABC Company
876 Central St
New York, CA 90010
Dear Mr. Tom:
Thank you for taking the time on __________ to discuss the Software Engineer vacancy at XYZ company. I have enclosed my resume, as you requested for further consideration.
I have an excellent knowledge and skills in the full life cycle of software design process including requirements definition, prototyping, proof of concept, design, interface implementation, testing, and maintenance. I’m also familiar with financial software products.
I suggest a personal interview to discuss further my qualifications. I can be available at your suitable time and day. I will look forward to hear from you soon. Thank you once again for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Job Seeker
25 Signs that you will never make it to the top!
Making to the top in corporate ladder is everyone’s dream. It take guts and luck, and lots of it to get to the top. I don’t know a single world class leader who made it to the top and showed any of the signs I have listed below. as they say *hit can take you to the top, but it won’t help you stay there…
Read through the list carefully and see where you are lacking and try to cover up those personality flaws to become a great team player and leader….
1. You fail to keep your promises, agreements and commitments.
2. You serve your self first and others only when it is convenient.
3. You micromanage and resist delegating.
4. You demonstrate an inconsistency between what you say and how you behave.
5. You fail to share critical information with your colleagues.
6. You choose to not tell the truth.
7. You resort to blaming and scapegoating others rather than own your mistakes.
8. You judge, and criticize rather than offer constructive feedback.
9. You betray confidences, gossip and talk about others behind their backs.
10. You choose to not allow others to contribute or make decisions.
11. You downplay others’ talents, knowledge and skills.
12. You refuse to support others with their professional development.
13. You resist creating shared values, expectations and intentions in favor of your own agenda; you refuse to compromise and foster win-lose arguments.
14. You refuse to be held accountable by your colleagues.
15. You resist discussing your personal life, allowing your vulnerability, disclosing your weaknesses and admitting your relationship challenges.
16. You rationalize sarcasm, put-down humor and off-putting remarks as “good for the group”.
17. You fail to admit you need support and don’t ask colleagues for help.
18. You take others’ suggestions and critiques as personal attacks.
19. You fail to speak up in team meetings and avoid contributing constructively.
20. You refuse to consider the idea of constructive conflict and avoid conflict at all costs.
21. You consistently hijack team meetings and move them off topic.
22. You refuse to follow through on decisions agreed upon at team meetings.
23. You secretly engage in back-door negotiations with other team members to create your own alliances.
24. You refuse to give others the benefit of the doubt and prefer to judge them without asking them to explain their position or actions.
25. You refuse to apologize for mistakes, misunderstandings and inappropriate behavior and dig your heels in to defend yourself and protect your reputation.
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Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years Time? – Interview Question
In a job interview the most common question that is usually asked during the interview is “where do you see yourself five years from now? This article will discuss the meaning or importance behind this question and how an individual can answer this question intelligently.
Employers seek for those employers that have potential for further personal growth and advancement. This will enable the employee to contribute effectively to the organization. In other words, they are looking for those employees who have a clear mindset about what they wish to accomplish and by what means i.e a career plan in order to achieve career goals and objective.
Second, most important element that is observed by the employer is the candidate’s motivation level. The employee should be highly motivated towards the position offered to him.
Two important points that are taken into consideration by the employer include:
1. Whether the candidate will accept any job offer or does he consider his job search target and career objectives.
2. Whether he will be adding any value to the organization or not.
Two basic responses that an employer expects from an individual include:
* His/her clear and realistic career vision
* The ideal response” I see myself progressing in my field as well as in the company, learning new skills to the benefit of the company. I find this job very challenging and motivating. I can see many challenges ahead and therefore, willing to invest my five years time learning all aspects of the job towards professional advancement. “
Hope you find this advice useful in your upcoming job interviews. Remember to be confident and stay focused, replying to all the questions with self-assurance.
Employers seek for those employers that have potential for further personal growth and advancement. This will enable the employee to contribute effectively to the organization. In other words, they are looking for those employees who have a clear mindset about what they wish to accomplish and by what means i.e a career plan in order to achieve career goals and objective.
Second, most important element that is observed by the employer is the candidate’s motivation level. The employee should be highly motivated towards the position offered to him.
Two important points that are taken into consideration by the employer include:
1. Whether the candidate will accept any job offer or does he consider his job search target and career objectives.
2. Whether he will be adding any value to the organization or not.
Two basic responses that an employer expects from an individual include:
* His/her clear and realistic career vision
* The ideal response” I see myself progressing in my field as well as in the company, learning new skills to the benefit of the company. I find this job very challenging and motivating. I can see many challenges ahead and therefore, willing to invest my five years time learning all aspects of the job towards professional advancement. “
Hope you find this advice useful in your upcoming job interviews. Remember to be confident and stay focused, replying to all the questions with self-assurance.
How to Cultivate Compassion in Your Life
Why develop compassion in your life? Well, there are scientific studies that suggest there are physical benefits to practicing compassion.[1] But there are other benefits as well, and these are emotional and spiritual. The main benefit is that it helps you to be more happy, and brings others around you to be more happy. If we agree that it is a common aim of each of us to strive to be happy, then compassion is one of the main tools for achieving that happiness. It is therefore of utmost importance that we cultivate compassion in our lives and practice compassion every day.
How do we do that? This guide contains 7 different practices that you can try out and perhaps incorporate into your every day life.
Steps
1
Develop a morning ritual. Greet each morning with a ritual. Try this one, suggested by the Dalai Lama: “Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” Then, when you’ve done this, try one of the practices below.
2
Practice empathy. The first step in cultivating compassion is to develop empathy for your fellow human beings. Many of us believe that we have empathy, and on some level nearly all of us do. But many times we are centered on ourselves and we let our sense of empathy get rusty. Try this practice: Imagine that a loved one is suffering. Something terrible has happened to him or her. Now try to imagine the pain they are going through. Imagine the suffering in as much detail as possible. After doing this practice for a couple of weeks, you should try moving on to imagining the suffering of others you know, not just those who are close to you.
* To keep empathy from turning into sympathy, keep your focus on the other person, rather than allowing your empathy to shift your focus to your own experience and memory of suffering.[2]
3
Practice commonalities. Instead of recognizing the differences between yourself and others, try to recognize what you have in common. At the root of it all, we are all human beings. We need food, and shelter, and love. We crave attention, and recognition, and affection, and above all, happiness. Reflect on these commonalities you have with every other human being, and ignore the differences. One favorite exercise comes from a great article from Ode Magazine — it’s a five-step exercise to try when you meet friends and strangers. Do it discreetly and try to do all the steps with the same person. With your attention geared to the other person, tell yourself:[3]
1. Step 1: “Just like me, this person is seeking happiness in his/her life.”
2. Step 2: “Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life.”
3. Step 3: “Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair.”
4. Step 4: “Just like me, this person is seeking to fill his/her needs.”
5. Step 5: “Just like me, this person is learning about life.”
4
Practice relief of suffering. Once you can empathize with another person, and understand his humanity and suffering, the next step is to want that person to be free from suffering. This is the heart of compassion — actually the definition of it. Try this exercise: Imagine the suffering of a human being you’ve met recently. Now imagine that you are the one going through that suffering. Reflect on how much you would like that suffering to end. Reflect on how happy you would be if another human being desired your suffering to end, and acted upon it. Open your heart to that human being and if you feel even a little that you’d want their suffering to end, reflect on that feeling. That’s the feeling that you want to develop. With constant practice, that feeling can be grown and nurtured.
* A study suggests that the more you meditate on compassion, the more your brain reorganizes itself to feel empathy towards others.[4]
5
Practice the act of kindness. Now that you’ve gotten good at the fourth practice, take the exercise a step further. Imagine again the suffering of someone you know or met recently. Imagine again that you are that person, and are going through that suffering. Now imagine that another human being would like your suffering to end — perhaps your mother or another loved one. What would you like for that person to do to end your suffering? Now reverse roles: you are the person who desires for the other person’s suffering to end. Imagine that you do something to help ease the suffering, or end it completely. Once you get good at this stage, practice doing something small each day to help end the suffering of others, even in a tiny way. Even a smile, or a kind word, or doing an errand or chore, or just talking about a problem with another person. Practice doing something kind to help ease the suffering of others. When you are good at this, find a way to make it a daily practice, and eventually a throughout-the-day practice.
6
Move beyond to practice compassion for those who mistreat us. The final stage in these compassion practices is to not only want to ease the suffering of those we love and meet, but even those who mistreat us. When we encounter someone who mistreats us, instead of acting in anger, withdraw. Later, when you are calm and more detached, reflect on that person who mistreated you. Try to imagine the background of that person. Try to imagine what that person was taught as a child. Try to imagine the day or week that person was going through, and what kind of bad things had happened to that person. Try to imagine the mood and state of mind that person was in — the suffering that person must have been going through to mistreat you that way. And understand that their action was not about you, but about what they were going through. Now think some more about the suffering of that poor person, and see if you can imagine trying to stop the suffering of that person. And then reflect that if you mistreated someone, and they acted with kindness and compassion toward you, whether that would make you less likely to mistreat that person the next time, and more likely to be kind to that person. Once you have mastered this practice of reflection, try acting with compassion and understanding the next time a person treats you. Do it in little doses, until you are good at it. Practice makes perfect.
* It will take time to manage your emotions to the extent that you can practice full compassion, but the following techniques will help; in addition, people who practiced them in a study produced 100 percent more DHEA, which is a hormone that counteracts the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol — the “stress hormone.”[5]
o Cut-through: Observe your feelings, focusing on your heart. Pretend you're someone outside of the situation, giving yourself advice like "Relax, it's no big deal." Imagine your negative feelings getting absorbed and diffused by your heart. This will help you transform rather than repress your negative feelings.[6]
o Heart lock-in: Quiet your mind and focus your attention on your heart. Tap into feelings that you have towards someone or something you love easily, and try to stay with that feeling for ten or fifteen minutes. Then imagine sending those feelings to yourself and others.[7]
* You may also want to read How to Forgive.
7
Develop an evening routine. It is highly recommended that you take a few minutes before you go to bed to reflect upon your day. Think about the people you met and talked to, and how you treated each other. Think about your goal that you stated this morning, to act with compassion towards others. How well did you do? What could you do better? What did you learn from your experiences today? And if you have time, try one of the above practices and exercises.
How to Know if You're Dealing With an Ideologue
Simply put, an ideologue is someone who is dedicated to a certain way of thinking, whether it is political, philosophical or religious in nature in a nearly fanatical way. They can be very difficult to deal with. This simple guide will help you figure out whether a person is an ideologue.
1
Pay attention to your conversations with them. See if they always want to talk about a certain topic, even if you have either hinted or have told them outright that you don't want to talk about it. Try using the tactics in How to Avoid Uncomfortable Conversations About Religion (whether the topic is religion or not) and see how they respond.
2
Analyse the relationship as it has developed over time. Think back and remember how your relationship with this person came into existence. An ideologue will at first seem genuinely interested in your opinions, but over time will become impatient with you once they see that you are not going to convert to theirs without serious consideration. An ideologue often has what could be called a 'missionary complex'-- they seem determined to convert others to their viewpoint regardless of the cost.
3
Check their attitudes on opposing viewpoints. There is no such thing as compromise with an ideologue. Generally, an ideologue doesn't understand the concept of 'agree to disagree'. To use a cliché, they see everything in black and white.
4
Reflect on their communication habits. An ideologue will seem well versed in whatever belief system they are committed to, and will often quotes facts and statistics as if they have rehearsed them. Even if you do have information to back your ideas, an ideologue will present their ideas in a manner that prevents you from presenting yours- they will cut off your side of the conversation, for example.
5
Think about how they present their ideas. An ideologue will often present their ideas and opinions as material facts, regardless if there is evidence to the contrary. They also will start with discussions gently, but as time goes on, they will become more and more aggressive.
Tips
* There is nothing wrong with being devoted or passionate about your beliefs. The difference is that a passionate person can understand objections to their ideas, and can resist the temptation to bring up the issue. An ideologue can't do either of these things.
* You won't win the argument. If you don't want to slam the door and end the relationship, the easy path is to 'play dumb' whenever they bring up their hot topic. Regardless of how many facts you give, they will always be convinced that they're right and that you're either misguided (if they think you might give in) or wrong (if they sense that you've rejected their ideas).
*You might try the therapist path with the techniques of nonviolent communication, repeating back their points patiently, trying to make them feel heard.
*The cat-with-a-mouse path is to take their position and pull them further than they want to go. "Did Jesus give up possessions, can you talk about what He said about poverty?"
* There are many ways to end a relationship with an ideologue. You can simply 'fade out' from their life, write a letter, or verbally tell them that the relationship is over and leave immediately.
Warnings
* It can be hard to pick up on an ideologue at first, but it will be obvious once they are irritated by your rejection of their ideas.
How to Be a Good Boss
Be a good boss by being someone your employees appreciate.
Be a good boss by being someone your employees appreciate.
You're the boss. But it's no fun (and very difficult) being a boss who is not respected, ineffective at managing staff, or is even actively disliked. How do you get your staff to be the best thing that ever happened to you? By being the best boss that ever happened to them. This article is intended to be helpful in a smaller, more casual setting. Although the tips could be helpful to a person in a larger, more formal executive setting, some would not be appropriate in those settings - see How to Be A Good Manager for advice in a more formal setting. But if you're someone who is pretty much the ultimate authority in his or her company or store (a small business owner or a general manager (GM) for a retail store, for example) here's how to be a good boss.
1
Realize that management succeeds via the efforts of the workers. Because you're in charge doesn't mean you deserve all the credit for the work being done. Your staff is responsible for the bulk of the work. You are leading them as they get it done to be sure all regulations are complied with, etc., but they are doing the actual work. Taking credit for their efforts will surely undermine your leadership.
2
Delegate responsibility and then trust your people. Micro-managers are never appreciated. Once you've trained someone to handle a task, allow him or her to handle it without interference. Different people have different approaches, and someone else's way of doing something may be just as efficient as the way you would do it. Before you step in and force your way on anyone, give an honest evaluation to the method, and if you find it works just as well, even if it's different from yours, let it be. Constantly correcting your people undercuts their confidence and does not allow them to exercise their own style.
3
Know your employees to know your strength. Watch your staff, get to know them as individuals. Understand their motives: Why do they work in this company? Why do they work in this department? What excites them? Some may love the work. Some may love the flexible hours. Some may love the retirement plan. Whatever that is, do your best to understand. That allows you to enhance, adjust and align their motives with your goals. The cream always rises to the top, and it's your job to figure out which employees do what is required in their jobs, and which employees do all they can in their jobs. There is a huge distinction.
4
Clone yourself - many times. Once you've identified good candidates, teach them your job. That's right. Teach them to be you. Most bad bosses are under the (mistaken) impression that there is something threatening about this, because the bad boss thinks that s/he is the only one who can perform a given function. The truth is, the best boss trusts his or her staff and re-creates himself many times over so that in case of emergencies, or in his absence, the Good Boss has excellent help that can be utterly relied upon. If you happen to be an entrepreneur/owner, cloning yourself means that you don't need to go to work as much, freeing you to do as you please, knowing your business is earning as much today without you there as it would if you had to go there and slave away. And remember, too, that you're creating another Good Boss!
5
Empower your staff to make critical decisions, and don't second-guess them. If you've done a good job of training your people to be your proxies, then you must believe they are doing their best to act in your (and your company's) best interest. Even if they make a wrong decision, or handle a situation in a way you would not have, don't second guess or berate them. Instead, use it as yet another training opportunity. Hear out their reasons for their action - most of the time, when taken in context, there was a logical basis for what they decided to do.
* Example: Once the employee has explained his or her rationale, try saying, "Given what you've told me, I now understand why that seemed like the way to go. However, in the future, I would like you to try handling it this way (then explain the way you want them to do it). If you have a problem doing it that way, you can always call me for help."
6
Create a clear chain of command. If you are the owner and have a manager, be sure the rest of the staff understands the chain - they are to take problems to the manager first, and only if they are still unsatisfied should they escalate it to you. When leaving, say, "Franki, you're in charge." This lets any additional staff know who's the boss in your absence, plus, goofy as it sounds, it makes Franki square up her shoulders and realize that she now "has the bridge." If customers are there, so much the better - you are putting your faith and trust in Franki right in front of them. They feel it, Franki feels it - and by gracefully handing the reins to her, you just went up a notch in the esteem of your right hand woman and your customers.
7
Help them learn to work out issues without your intervention. Sometimes one or more of your staff may experience friction with others. If they come tattling on one another to you, listen to them carefully. If someone is not fulfilling his own responsibilities or is mistreating another employee, you'll need to step in and resolve the conflict yourself. But if you're satisfied it's only an issue of competition or a simple personality clash, urge them to settle it between themselves. For instance:
* Tell the complaining party, "I'm a need-to-know boss. I don't need to know about this, it's really between you and Juan. Let me talk to Juan, but once I have, if I don't get back to you, it's up to you." (If it turns out to be more than a personal problem, correct Juan then return to the complaining party and let him know that you have spoken to Juan and there should be no further problem. This lets the person know you took his complaint seriously and what to expect next time he sees Juan.)
* Talk to the other person, and upon verifying that it's a personality issue, simply let them both know that they aren't required to be friends, only to get along and get their work finished.
* Defend the other to each of them: "You know, Francesca may be a little loud and talkative, but she's the best salesperson we have, and you could learn a lot from her. Try and work it out." And to Francesca, "Juan is a quiet guy, and it may help if you let him come to you. I think he may feel a little like you're steamrolling him; the thing is, he's very organized and we need him. Try a less frontal approach. I bet you guys can work this out."
* Tell them both you believe in their abilities to work and get along. Then leave them alone, but watch carefully. Don't interfere unless they bicker in front of customers. Put a stop to anything like that instantly.
8
Deal with any problems quickly and directly. Any boss who is terribly busy totally understands this concept: "I don't need all the details. Bottom line it for me." You don't have to be so blunt that you crush people, but being direct and honest is a big time saver, and frankly, appreciated in the end. When you see a problem, deal with it quickly and don't nag your people about it later - let done be done. Try to elicit the agreement that whatever just happened was not acceptable. Remember that your goal is to promote productive behavior and retain the respect of your employee, NOT to antagonize your people, particularly in front of others. Here's an example:
* Boss: "Evan. I need you in the office for a moment." (Say this in a neutral or pleasant tone. Don't come out in front of customers or peers with your guns blazing, bellowing, "Evan, get in the office NOW." This is between you and Evan.) Privately, once all prying eyes are away:
* Boss: "Evan, the cell phone call. Is everything okay with your family?"
* Evan: "Yes, it was just my dad wanting some help later..."
* Boss: "Okay, I see. We're all human, but when you're out on the sales floor, you cannot take personal calls."
* Evan: "I know. I'm sorry. It's just my dad doesn't have many opportunities to talk to me..." (the actual problem or subject of the call is irrelevant)
* Boss: "I understand; nevertheless - when you find you can't end a personal call immediately, I'd like you to leave the sales floor. When customers see you taking an obviously personal call instead of helping them, it looks bad for you and the store. Our customer is always to have priority unless you have an emergency, clear?"
* Evan: "Yeah... that was my bad."
* Boss: "Alright. Glad you understand that. Ideally, I'd like you to let your phone go to voice mail when you're at work, but at least leave the floor if you can't end the call immediately, okay? Now, are you good to return to the floor?"
* Evan: "I'm good."
* Boss: "Okay, get out there."
* And that's it. Don't belabour it, don't nag him about it, just let him get on with his job. It isn't necessary to cushion these discussions with compliments or flattery. Your employee should (A) know better than to take lengthy personal calls on the job and (B) be a grownup about discipline. You, as a Good Boss, should (A) stay cool - it's a training opportunity, and (B) be kind and calm, but firm and clear in expressing your correction of the behavior and your expectation for the future. Excessive compliments and a constant attempt to "relate" to your staff's personal issues are a waste of time, as are berating and belaboring lectures. Get to the point quickly - but without becoming strident or making a mountain out of a molehill.
9
Tell your staff how much you appreciate them - in front of customers if possible. Never hesitate to pat your employees on the back, compliment and thank them for their excellent service - if customers are there, letting them know how you value your people can go a long way toward the customers actually having more faith in the services your business provides. When your staff feel valued and appreciated, their job means more to them than simply a paycheck. When your customers know that you, as the owner (or manager) think highly of your staff, they feel confident that they're in good hands, and it gives you more freedom to leave your customers in the very capable hands of your staff. See how this becomes a "win-win-win"? By lifting up your employee while your customer was watching, ALL of you got something good from it - with zero downside.
10
Show your appreciation by doing things for them. They go the extra mile for you. You do something nice for them. Buy everyone lunch every other Wednesday. Be sure there's a supply of their favorite sodas in a small fridge for them. If you get extra tickets to something you know they would enjoy, offer it to them as a bonus for work well done. Remember their birthdays, at least enough to wish them a happy day, or buy them a cupcake.
11
Share your goals with your employees. Tell them what makes you happy and ask them directly to help you reach your goals. "Hidden agendas" in a leader are damaging to morale because they create confusion in those who work for you. Tell them things like "I like to hear praise from our customers about you", "I do not like to hear complaints from other teams about us", "My goal is to [increase our growth by 15%] [win the best team award] next year", etc. etc.. Trust that your employees are very much like you: They love to feel helpful and accomplished. Your job is to tell them how to achieve those feelings.
12
Learn to be an effective listener. Your employees deserve to be heard when they have concerns. Allow them to finish talking before you speak; do not assume that you know what they are going to tell you before they finish talking; do not form objections in your mind while they are talking. Instead try to be fully engaged while they are talking without making it about your rebuttal. Acknowledge their points, which does not mean that you agree, but does mean that you understand their concerns. Repeat their points in your own words to confirm, if necessary. You may not need to take any action, but hearing them out is important to their sense of empowerment and significance. Often, simply saying, "I appreciate your telling me this" is all that's needed to make them feel they were heard.
13
Be the boss. All these steps may not prevent from you having to assert your ultimate authority at some point. No matter how well your staff is trained or how good your leadership skills become, there will be times when you will have to remind someone that you are the final word on all matters. Being a good boss and empowering your people to make daily decisions does not mean you've abdicated your authority. If you find that someone on your staff is overstepping or has made a mistake, be decisive and firm, act swiftly and don't waffle. This may result in some deflation of that employee, but assuming you allow it to be done with once you've corrected the situation, it should pass quickly.
Monday, March 22, 2010
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
"Those who don't know how to fight worry, die young." This ominous advice begins Dale Carnegie's bestseller, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, an eight-part treatise on the follies of worrying. Like other Carnegie books, this one is packed with good old-fashioned common sense, illustrated with examples drawn from research on historical figures and interviews with business leaders. Somehow, even the most simple advice--such as Carnegie's four-step method of problem solving--is presented in a way that makes you want to write it down and post it on the employee bulletin board. Narrated by the resonant and engaging voice of Andrew McMillan and loaded with relevant real-life examples, this unabridged audiobook maintains interest throughout. Learn how to break the worry habit - now and forever with Dale Carnegie's timeless advice in hand.
More than six million people have learned how to eliminate debilitating fear and worry from their lives and to embrace a worry-free future. In this classic work, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Carnegie offers a set of practical formulas that you can put to work today. It is a book packed with lessons that will last a lifetime and make that lifetime happier.
The last 1/3 of the book gives you 32 stories of everyday men and women who tell you in their own words how they stopped worrying and started living.
'How to Stop Worrying and Start Living' will enable you to:
1: Eliminate fifty percent of your business worries immediately.
2:-Cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness.
3: Lessen financial worries.
4: Outlaw many of your worries.
5: Turn criticism to your advantage.
6: Avoid fatigue and keep looking young.
7: Prevent fatigue and worry.
8: Add one hour a day to your working life.
9: Avoid emotional upsets.
Who Moved My Cheese?
Who Moved My Cheese? is the story of four characters living in a "Maze" who face unexpected change when they discover their "Cheese" has disappeared. Sniff and Scurry, who are mice, and Hem and Haw, little people the size of mice, each adapt to change in their "Maze" differently. In fact, one doesn't adapt at all...
This timeless allegory reveals profound truths to individuals and organizations dealing with change. We each live in a "Maze", a metaphor for the companies or organizations we work with, the communities we live in, the families we love places where we look for the things we want in life, "Cheese". It may be an enjoyable career, loving relationships, wealth, or spiritual peace of mind. With time and experience, one character eventually succeeds and even prospers from the change in his "Maze".In an effort to share what he has learned along the way, he records his personal discoveries on the maze walls, the "Handwriting on the Wall". Likewise, when we begin to see the "writing on the wall", we discover the simplicity and necessity of adapting to change.
Full of modern day insight, the story of Who Moved My Cheese? invites individuals and organizations to enjoy less stress and more success by learning to deal with the inevitable change.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Customer experience
Customer experience is the sum of all experiences a customer has with a supplier of goods or services, over the duration of their relationship with that supplier. It can also be used to mean an individual experience over one transaction; the distinction is usually clear in context.
Contents
* 1 Growing recognition
* 2 Emerging Business Requirement
* 3 Customer Experience Management
o 3.1 CEM systems
* 4 See also
* 5 References
Growing recognition
The concept of customer experience was first introduced by Pine and Gilmore in their 1998 Harvard Business Review article. They believe that successful businesses influence people through engaging, authentic experiences that render personal value (Pine and Gilmore 1998).[1]
Analysts and commentators who write about customer experience and customer relationship management have increasingly recognized the importance of managing the customer's experience.[2] Customers receive some kind of experience, ranging from positive to negative, during the course of buying goods and services. Thompson and Kolsky say that “an experience is defined as the sum total of conscious events. As such, a supplier cannot avoid creating an experience every time it interacts with a customer” (2004). Furthermore, it has been shown that a customer’s perception of an organisation is built as a result of their interaction across multiple-channels, not through one channel, and that a positive customer experience can result in increased share of wallet and repeat business.
A company's ability to deliver an experience that sets it apart in the eyes of its customers serves to increase their spend with the company and, optimally, inspire loyalty to its brand. "Loyalty," says Jessica Debor, "is now driven primarily by a company's interaction with its customers and how well it delivers on their wants and needs." (2008) [3]
To create a superior customer experience requires understanding the customer's point of view, say Don Peppers and Martha Rogers, Ph.D in Rules to Break and Laws to Follow. "What's it really like to be your customer? What is the day-in, day-out 'customer experience' your company is delivering? How does it feel to wait on hold on the phone? To open a package and not be certain how to follow the poorly translated instructions? To stand in line, be charged a fee, wait for a service call that was promised two hours ago, come back to an online shopping cart that's no longer there an hour later? Or what's it like to be remembered? To receive helpful suggestions? To get everything exactly as it was promised? To be confident that the answers you get are the best ones for you?" (Peppers and Rogers 2008)[4]
Emerging Business Requirement
With products becoming commoditized, price differentiation no longer sustainable and customers demanding more, companies – and communication service providers (wireline, wireless, broadband cable, satellite) in particular – are focusing on delivering superior customer experiences. A 2009 study of over 860 corporate executives revealed that companies that have increased their investment in customer experience management over the past three years report higher customer referral rates and customer satisfaction (Strativity Group, 2009) [5]. This finding is also supported by research completed by software company Chordiant in 2008 into the customer experience management performance of large organisations across Europe[6]. The research surveyed 450 large organisations to create a maturity model and the results showed that over ¾ of the organisations surveyed achieved level 3 (of 5) or less for CEM performance (5 being best possible result). The results also showed that performance in four key business areas (market share, retention, profitability, and customer satisfaction) was directly related to CEM performance[7].
The customer experience has emerged as the single most important aspect in achieving success for companies across all industries (Peppers and Rogers 2005).[8] For example, Starbucks spent less than $10MM on advertising from 1987 to 1998 yet added over 2,000 new stores to accommodate growing sales. Starbucks popularity is based on the experience that drove its customers to highly recommend their store to friends and family.[9]
Customer Experience Management
The goal of customer experience management (CEM) is to move customers from satisfied to loyal and then from loyal to advocate. Traditionally, managing the customer relationship has been the domain of Customer Relationship Management (CRM). However, CRM strategies and solutions are designed to focus on product, price and enterprise process, with minimal or no focus on customer need and desire. The result is a sharp mismatch between the organisation’s approach to customer expectations and what customers actually want, resulting in the failure of many CRM implementations.
Where CRM is enterprise-focused and designed to manage customers for maximum efficiency, CEM is a strategy that focuses the operations and processes of a business around the needs of the individual customer. Companies are focusing on the importance of the experience and, as Jeananne Rae notes, realizing that “building great consumer experiences is a complex enterprise, involving strategy, integration of technology, orchestrating business models, brand management and CEO commitment.” (2006) [10]
According to Bernd Schmitt, "the term 'Customer Experience Management' represents the discipline, methodology and/or process used to comprehensively manage a customer's cross-channel exposure, interaction and transaction with a company, product, brand or service."[11] Customer experience solutions provide strategies, process models, and information technology to design, manage and optimize the end-to-end customer experience process.
CEM systems
One of the key features of successful CEM implementations is their ability to manage multi-channel interactions. Customer experience solutions address the cross-channel (contact center, Internet, self service, mobile devices, brick and mortar stores), cross-touchpoint (phone, chat, email, Web, in-person), and cross-lifecycle (ordering, fulfillment, billing, support, etc.) nature of the customer experience process. By contrast, CRM solutions tend to offer point solutions for specific customer-facing functions such as, but not limited to, sales force automation, customer analytics, and campaign management.
Experience-based providers also integrate both internal and external innovations to create end-to-end customer experiences. They evaluate their business models as well as business support systems and operational support systems (BSS/OSS) from the customer’s point of view to achieve the level of customer-centricity necessary to improve customer loyalty, churn and revenue (Lopez, 2007).[12] Chordiant, which specialises in developing CEM systems, integrates next best action marketing technologies into their systems to predict customer behaviour and provide real-time recommendations for guiding the interactions.
Contents
* 1 Growing recognition
* 2 Emerging Business Requirement
* 3 Customer Experience Management
o 3.1 CEM systems
* 4 See also
* 5 References
Growing recognition
The concept of customer experience was first introduced by Pine and Gilmore in their 1998 Harvard Business Review article. They believe that successful businesses influence people through engaging, authentic experiences that render personal value (Pine and Gilmore 1998).[1]
Analysts and commentators who write about customer experience and customer relationship management have increasingly recognized the importance of managing the customer's experience.[2] Customers receive some kind of experience, ranging from positive to negative, during the course of buying goods and services. Thompson and Kolsky say that “an experience is defined as the sum total of conscious events. As such, a supplier cannot avoid creating an experience every time it interacts with a customer” (2004). Furthermore, it has been shown that a customer’s perception of an organisation is built as a result of their interaction across multiple-channels, not through one channel, and that a positive customer experience can result in increased share of wallet and repeat business.
A company's ability to deliver an experience that sets it apart in the eyes of its customers serves to increase their spend with the company and, optimally, inspire loyalty to its brand. "Loyalty," says Jessica Debor, "is now driven primarily by a company's interaction with its customers and how well it delivers on their wants and needs." (2008) [3]
To create a superior customer experience requires understanding the customer's point of view, say Don Peppers and Martha Rogers, Ph.D in Rules to Break and Laws to Follow. "What's it really like to be your customer? What is the day-in, day-out 'customer experience' your company is delivering? How does it feel to wait on hold on the phone? To open a package and not be certain how to follow the poorly translated instructions? To stand in line, be charged a fee, wait for a service call that was promised two hours ago, come back to an online shopping cart that's no longer there an hour later? Or what's it like to be remembered? To receive helpful suggestions? To get everything exactly as it was promised? To be confident that the answers you get are the best ones for you?" (Peppers and Rogers 2008)[4]
Emerging Business Requirement
With products becoming commoditized, price differentiation no longer sustainable and customers demanding more, companies – and communication service providers (wireline, wireless, broadband cable, satellite) in particular – are focusing on delivering superior customer experiences. A 2009 study of over 860 corporate executives revealed that companies that have increased their investment in customer experience management over the past three years report higher customer referral rates and customer satisfaction (Strativity Group, 2009) [5]. This finding is also supported by research completed by software company Chordiant in 2008 into the customer experience management performance of large organisations across Europe[6]. The research surveyed 450 large organisations to create a maturity model and the results showed that over ¾ of the organisations surveyed achieved level 3 (of 5) or less for CEM performance (5 being best possible result). The results also showed that performance in four key business areas (market share, retention, profitability, and customer satisfaction) was directly related to CEM performance[7].
The customer experience has emerged as the single most important aspect in achieving success for companies across all industries (Peppers and Rogers 2005).[8] For example, Starbucks spent less than $10MM on advertising from 1987 to 1998 yet added over 2,000 new stores to accommodate growing sales. Starbucks popularity is based on the experience that drove its customers to highly recommend their store to friends and family.[9]
Customer Experience Management
The goal of customer experience management (CEM) is to move customers from satisfied to loyal and then from loyal to advocate. Traditionally, managing the customer relationship has been the domain of Customer Relationship Management (CRM). However, CRM strategies and solutions are designed to focus on product, price and enterprise process, with minimal or no focus on customer need and desire. The result is a sharp mismatch between the organisation’s approach to customer expectations and what customers actually want, resulting in the failure of many CRM implementations.
Where CRM is enterprise-focused and designed to manage customers for maximum efficiency, CEM is a strategy that focuses the operations and processes of a business around the needs of the individual customer. Companies are focusing on the importance of the experience and, as Jeananne Rae notes, realizing that “building great consumer experiences is a complex enterprise, involving strategy, integration of technology, orchestrating business models, brand management and CEO commitment.” (2006) [10]
According to Bernd Schmitt, "the term 'Customer Experience Management' represents the discipline, methodology and/or process used to comprehensively manage a customer's cross-channel exposure, interaction and transaction with a company, product, brand or service."[11] Customer experience solutions provide strategies, process models, and information technology to design, manage and optimize the end-to-end customer experience process.
CEM systems
One of the key features of successful CEM implementations is their ability to manage multi-channel interactions. Customer experience solutions address the cross-channel (contact center, Internet, self service, mobile devices, brick and mortar stores), cross-touchpoint (phone, chat, email, Web, in-person), and cross-lifecycle (ordering, fulfillment, billing, support, etc.) nature of the customer experience process. By contrast, CRM solutions tend to offer point solutions for specific customer-facing functions such as, but not limited to, sales force automation, customer analytics, and campaign management.
Experience-based providers also integrate both internal and external innovations to create end-to-end customer experiences. They evaluate their business models as well as business support systems and operational support systems (BSS/OSS) from the customer’s point of view to achieve the level of customer-centricity necessary to improve customer loyalty, churn and revenue (Lopez, 2007).[12] Chordiant, which specialises in developing CEM systems, integrates next best action marketing technologies into their systems to predict customer behaviour and provide real-time recommendations for guiding the interactions.
How to manage your stress
You can control stress
If you feel chronically overwhelmed, try shifting your perspective. Rather than seeing stress as something on the outside pushing in, see yourself pushing it away, and consider these proven ways to get out from under its grip.
Take charge
"When I ask general audiences if they can control their stress level to make it work for them, no more than half say they can," says Esther M. Sternberg, M.D. "If I ask audiences of pilots or neurosurgeons the same question, they all say they can."
The difference is the amount of control these people believe they have over the situation. Pilots, neurosurgeons, firefighters, and others with high-pressure occupations are trained to use the stress response as a way to monitor their own behavior. When a pilot flies a plane through a storm, his heart races, his breath becomes shallow, and his attention is intensely focused on the job at hand. He experiences the physiological arousal that defines stress, but he doesn't label the situation as stressful. He's done this before. He knows what to expect. He's in control.
On the other hand, if you're a passenger in the airplane cabin, you're uncomfortable because the plane is bouncing around and you can't do anything about it. You feel stressed. "The trick in these kinds of situations is to make yourself feel, little by little, as though you're in control, to make an unknowable situation seem knowable," Sternberg says. Watch the flight attendant. He has the experience to recognize how much danger the plane is in. If he looks calm (and he probably does), you'll feel calmer.
If your work schedule sets your teeth to grinding, make a list of projects you need to get done and front-load it with tasks you can accomplish quickly. As you check off accomplishments, you'll begin to feel in control, and your stress will ease.
Don't Miss
* Having It All: Work-Life Balance
* Real Simple: How stressed out are you?
* Real Simple: How to handle 16 common stressors
* Real Simple: The best ways to compromise
Try scheduling daily chores so that you can attack the most difficult ones when your energy level is highest. And delegate. Not just to coworkers but also to your children, your spouse, and your friends.
Give yourself time-outs
Of course, you can't control everything. Your child's schedule will inevitably conflict with your work deadlines. Bad weather will flood the picnic.
"We know that chronic stress has a physical impact on your body," Esther M. Sternberg, M.D., says, but if you interrupt stressful moments with calm ones, "you can lessen that impact." And it's easier than you think to get positive results.
If you have a series of crushing deadlines looming at work, take some R&R in between them. A weekend at the beach can restore your equilibrium. Distract yourself with something you find soothing: Cook, knit, or break out the watercolors.
And if you can't take off for the afternoon when you feel your stress rising at the office, just get out for a walk. Even a short stroll can make a difference.
Reach out, don't retreat
For women, fight or flight should probably be called "tend or befriend," because their response to stress is less about fighting or fleeing and more about turning to family and friends, according to Shelley E. Taylor, a professor of psychology at UCLA, and her colleagues.
Women have more intimate social networks than men do, and when they're stressed, they turn to these networks for support. They're more likely to seek out the company of other women and less likely to flee or to fight. A stress response moderated by a system such as tend or befriend, as Taylor reported in the July 2000 Psychological Review, might help explain why women live five years longer, on average, than men.
So indulge in the pleasure of family and friends. Invite old pals to a women's night out. Call your sister. Recent studies show that Americans are feeling more isolated; try to fight that situation. It may help you live longer.
Eat moderately and keep moving
The same hormones that boost your body's supply of available energy in fending off an impending threat also tell your brain that you need to replenish that energy once it's used up. The result: Your cortisol-crazed psyche sends you on the prowl for all-too-fattening pizza, potato chips, and ice cream in an effort to refuel quickly. If you're going through a stressful period, fight the urge to snack endlessly. Preferably, eat small low-carb, low-fat meals.
And try to exercise regularly. Working out counteracts the unhealthy buildup of body fat and dissipates the nervous energy that often drives you to that carton of ice cream. The exercise doesn't have to be strenuous. Walking releases endorphins that can soothe a jangled mind. And even half an hour a day can ease insomnia, which is both a symptom of stress and a stressor.
Practice mindful relaxation
Physiologically, relaxation is the opposite of stress. When you're relaxed, your breathing and heart rate slow and your mind clears. Mindfulness is a way to achieve this level of relaxation using a variety of techniques, including yoga, meditation, and simple relaxation exercises. Mindfulness quiets your chattering mind by teaching you how to observe your thoughts and feelings without seeing them as positive or negative. It trains you to use your breathing and an awareness of your body to focus on the here and now.
The basic relaxation response was first described in 1975 by Harvard Medical School researcher Herbert Benson. His approach has two steps: First, close your eyes and focus on your breath (that's the foundation). Second, choose a phrase, a word, or a prayer and repeat it to stay in the moment and be mindful.
"I use two phrases," says Bernadette Johnson, director of integrative medicine at Greenwich Hospital, in Connecticut. "'I'm breathing in relaxation and peace' when I inhale. 'I'm breathing out tension and anxiety' on the exhale."
Ideally, you'd begin and end your day with 10 to 20 minutes of regular relaxation exercise. But should you find your tension rising during the day, "take a deep breath, hold it for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four," Johnson says. "That's what we call a mini, and if it's built on a foundation of regular, longer relaxation exercises, you can tap into it whenever you need it."
If a thought or an emotion intrudes on your mindfulness and threatens to take you out of the moment, observe it but don't react to it. Think of it as a leaf floating by on a slow-moving stream.
Why did I snap at my husband?
Inhale. Let it glide on by.
I'm so afraid I'm not going to finish that report in time.
Exhale. Ah, another leaf in the swirling current.
I'm so stressed-out.
Inhale. Not anymore.
If you feel chronically overwhelmed, try shifting your perspective. Rather than seeing stress as something on the outside pushing in, see yourself pushing it away, and consider these proven ways to get out from under its grip.
Take charge
"When I ask general audiences if they can control their stress level to make it work for them, no more than half say they can," says Esther M. Sternberg, M.D. "If I ask audiences of pilots or neurosurgeons the same question, they all say they can."
The difference is the amount of control these people believe they have over the situation. Pilots, neurosurgeons, firefighters, and others with high-pressure occupations are trained to use the stress response as a way to monitor their own behavior. When a pilot flies a plane through a storm, his heart races, his breath becomes shallow, and his attention is intensely focused on the job at hand. He experiences the physiological arousal that defines stress, but he doesn't label the situation as stressful. He's done this before. He knows what to expect. He's in control.
On the other hand, if you're a passenger in the airplane cabin, you're uncomfortable because the plane is bouncing around and you can't do anything about it. You feel stressed. "The trick in these kinds of situations is to make yourself feel, little by little, as though you're in control, to make an unknowable situation seem knowable," Sternberg says. Watch the flight attendant. He has the experience to recognize how much danger the plane is in. If he looks calm (and he probably does), you'll feel calmer.
If your work schedule sets your teeth to grinding, make a list of projects you need to get done and front-load it with tasks you can accomplish quickly. As you check off accomplishments, you'll begin to feel in control, and your stress will ease.
Don't Miss
* Having It All: Work-Life Balance
* Real Simple: How stressed out are you?
* Real Simple: How to handle 16 common stressors
* Real Simple: The best ways to compromise
Try scheduling daily chores so that you can attack the most difficult ones when your energy level is highest. And delegate. Not just to coworkers but also to your children, your spouse, and your friends.
Give yourself time-outs
Of course, you can't control everything. Your child's schedule will inevitably conflict with your work deadlines. Bad weather will flood the picnic.
"We know that chronic stress has a physical impact on your body," Esther M. Sternberg, M.D., says, but if you interrupt stressful moments with calm ones, "you can lessen that impact." And it's easier than you think to get positive results.
If you have a series of crushing deadlines looming at work, take some R&R in between them. A weekend at the beach can restore your equilibrium. Distract yourself with something you find soothing: Cook, knit, or break out the watercolors.
And if you can't take off for the afternoon when you feel your stress rising at the office, just get out for a walk. Even a short stroll can make a difference.
Reach out, don't retreat
For women, fight or flight should probably be called "tend or befriend," because their response to stress is less about fighting or fleeing and more about turning to family and friends, according to Shelley E. Taylor, a professor of psychology at UCLA, and her colleagues.
Women have more intimate social networks than men do, and when they're stressed, they turn to these networks for support. They're more likely to seek out the company of other women and less likely to flee or to fight. A stress response moderated by a system such as tend or befriend, as Taylor reported in the July 2000 Psychological Review, might help explain why women live five years longer, on average, than men.
So indulge in the pleasure of family and friends. Invite old pals to a women's night out. Call your sister. Recent studies show that Americans are feeling more isolated; try to fight that situation. It may help you live longer.
Eat moderately and keep moving
The same hormones that boost your body's supply of available energy in fending off an impending threat also tell your brain that you need to replenish that energy once it's used up. The result: Your cortisol-crazed psyche sends you on the prowl for all-too-fattening pizza, potato chips, and ice cream in an effort to refuel quickly. If you're going through a stressful period, fight the urge to snack endlessly. Preferably, eat small low-carb, low-fat meals.
And try to exercise regularly. Working out counteracts the unhealthy buildup of body fat and dissipates the nervous energy that often drives you to that carton of ice cream. The exercise doesn't have to be strenuous. Walking releases endorphins that can soothe a jangled mind. And even half an hour a day can ease insomnia, which is both a symptom of stress and a stressor.
Practice mindful relaxation
Physiologically, relaxation is the opposite of stress. When you're relaxed, your breathing and heart rate slow and your mind clears. Mindfulness is a way to achieve this level of relaxation using a variety of techniques, including yoga, meditation, and simple relaxation exercises. Mindfulness quiets your chattering mind by teaching you how to observe your thoughts and feelings without seeing them as positive or negative. It trains you to use your breathing and an awareness of your body to focus on the here and now.
The basic relaxation response was first described in 1975 by Harvard Medical School researcher Herbert Benson. His approach has two steps: First, close your eyes and focus on your breath (that's the foundation). Second, choose a phrase, a word, or a prayer and repeat it to stay in the moment and be mindful.
"I use two phrases," says Bernadette Johnson, director of integrative medicine at Greenwich Hospital, in Connecticut. "'I'm breathing in relaxation and peace' when I inhale. 'I'm breathing out tension and anxiety' on the exhale."
Ideally, you'd begin and end your day with 10 to 20 minutes of regular relaxation exercise. But should you find your tension rising during the day, "take a deep breath, hold it for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four," Johnson says. "That's what we call a mini, and if it's built on a foundation of regular, longer relaxation exercises, you can tap into it whenever you need it."
If a thought or an emotion intrudes on your mindfulness and threatens to take you out of the moment, observe it but don't react to it. Think of it as a leaf floating by on a slow-moving stream.
Why did I snap at my husband?
Inhale. Let it glide on by.
I'm so afraid I'm not going to finish that report in time.
Exhale. Ah, another leaf in the swirling current.
I'm so stressed-out.
Inhale. Not anymore.
Set Your Goal For Brighter Life
Whether this is your first experience with setting goals or you've been setting them all of your life, here are some helpful suggestions and ideas. Experienced goal-setters will notice that myGoals.com does a few things differently from traditional paper-based systems, owing to the power and flexibility of the Internet.
What makes a good goal?
Traditional goal-setting wisdom has taught us that a good goal must be a) written, b) challenging, c) believable, d) specific, e) measureable, and f) have a specific deadline. Unfortunately, it's not too difficult to think of an example that directly challenges any of the above goal-setting criteria. For instance, the goal "to live a more spiritual life" may be a valuable, meaningful goal for many, but it's hardly measurable and assigning a deadline makes little sense for a permanent alteration of lifestyle.
This traditional checklist of things that "make a good goal" is largely a product of old technology: pen and paper. The old-school of goal-setting suggested that people write down goals on a small slip of paper and keep it in their wallet or purse. Suffice to say that slips of paper rapidly dissolve into lint. Today we have email.
So what makes a good goal? All of the above criteria are still good components of most goals. However, they are not necessarily all required when using myGoals.com. For our purposes, a good goal is one that is worthy of individual pursuit. And that is so highly subjective, far be it from us to define what is your worthy pursuit.
A different question is, "What makes a good Goalplan?" On this, our position is precise: A good Goalplan is one that when followed, offers a reasonably high probability of success, given sufficient time.
Let's take each of the traditional points one-at-a-time:
* Must all goals be written?
It's important to record your goals, whether you enter them into myGoals.com or physically write them down on paper. The problem with the paper method is that hand-written goals are difficult to update and manage, and of course, hand-written goals provide none of the additional features that are made possible by the Web.
* Must all goals be believable?
You must believe that it is at least possible for you to achieve the goal or you will not be motivated to try. More importantly, it is you who must believe, not others (see what to do about naysayers). Also, just because you should believe that the goal is possible does not mean that you must expect it to be easy or even probable. Indeed, some argue that completion of only the most difficult goals will have enduring value to you. Similarly, some of history's greatest moments were the result of people attempting the "impossible," such as flying or putting a man on the moon. See more about setting "realistic" goals.
* Must all goals be challenging?
No. We recommend setting at least one easy goal and at least one challenging goal. You could have several of each but you should limit the number of challenging goals or tasks coming due at any one time to avoid becoming overwhelmed or frustrated. The easy goals build good habits of follow-through and reward you with quick gratification. The challenging goals force you to grow. A mix of the two is ideal.
* Must all goals be measurable and specific?
Your goals should be measurable and specific enough for you to know unambiguously whether they have been completed yet or not. However, to save space on the computer screen, abbreviated goal titles such as "to reduce my stress" might be more convenient than titles such as "to reduce my stress by practicing yoga three nights a week and lowering my blood pressure by 10 points." Instead, make individual tasks in myGoals.com measurable and specific as much as possible, even if the details must be written in the task's "notes" area.
* Must all goals have deadlines?
Here's the big shocker: Goals no longer have to have a deadline! Technology has allowed us to expand the definition of what a goal can be to include a direction, commitment, or lifestyle enhancement as opposed to a mere end-point. The technology utilized in myGoals.com allows a new and completely revolutionary look at the need for a goal to have a deadline. We offer a new type of goal called an "on-going" goal, that is sustained over time, managed, and tracked, but by design, never-ending. Why, for instance, would you want to end a goal, "to keep myself in excellent physical condition" or "to be an honest and trustworthy person"? Such goals should have no end-date, and now they don't have to. This concept may sound revolutionary to long-time power goal-setters. It is revolutionary. We invite you to try it.
Should my goals be short-term or long-term?
We recommend that you always have at least one short-term and one long-term goal at any given time. Short-term goals are usually simpler and easier than long-term. Setting them helps assure that you'll have frequent victories, building a strong track record and momentum with each one you complete.
Long-term goals (two years or longer) keep you headed in the right direction and can provide a sense of greater purpose, not to mention something exciting to work toward.
It's okay to change goals as you go.
With long-term goals, it's important not to focus on the goal so much that you lose sight of the underlying reason you set the goal in the first place. The world changes and so can you. While follow-through and persistance are among the most important traits related to long-term accomplishment, so is the ability to re-assess along the way. So long as you are honest with yourself, it's okay to change your mind, change goals mid-stream, shelve one for a later day, or cancel one altogether. Again, the trick is to be honest with yourself, and not change your mind so frequently that you never accomplish anything. (See also "What if my goals change?")
Should my goals be lofty or practical?
Only you can decide what is "lofty" or "practical" and how many goals of either flavor you'd like to set. Indeed, one person's lofty might be another's practical, and vice-versa. This service is here to help you accomplish anything you set out to do, from painting the house to reforming public education. And while we're always thrilled to hear success stories from our users who've done newsworthy and inspiring things, we also know that these can't be done without also taking care of the simpler items on life's to-do list.
But assuming you've covered your bases and been mindful of the balanced whole, and if you've got the energy and passion to apply to something beyond the ordinary, then—by all means—reach for the stars!
Along these same lines, be sure to also see:
* Must all goals be challenging?
* Must all goals be believable?
* How do I know if a goal is realistic?
With lofty goals, pay extra attention to whom you're willing to discuss your goals with, particularly when you first begin and have no demonstrable milestones achieved. The old adage, "show, don't tell," exists because naysayers are quick to label lofty goal-setters as fools or dreamers, and deeds shut them up faster than promises. Your personal support group of family and friends (at least, those whom you trust to be supportive) is an exception. Use them as a resource whenever appropriate.
For more on dealing with naysayers, "Should I keep my goals private?"
How do I know if a goal is realistic?
A goal is realistic if you stand reasonably good odds of accomplishing it, given enough time and effort—and indeed, mountains can be moved if given enough time and effort. "Good odds" is a subjective measure, but one that you have most control over when success or failure depends on what you do, as opposed to what other people do or random events (such as goals "to become an astronaut" or "to win the lottery").
The majority of the goals you set should be very realistic or you risk becoming frustrated if you do not accomplish any of them. However, there is nothing wrong with attempting things that defy the odds or that you expect to be extremely difficult. Such goals require courage, defined here as "attempting something even though you might not succeed."
Almost any goal, no matter how difficult, can be made easier by breaking it down into several smaller goals, to be tackled one at a time. The completion of so-called "baby steps" is one of the best ways to build confidence, momentum, and a track record of performance.
And finally, when you create or update a Goalplan, ask yourself, "Will completing these steps lead to completion of the goal?" If not, then modify the obstacles, tasks, or due dates until a viable plan exists.
How many goals should I have at the same time?
You can set many goals without worrying about spreading yourself too thin because we make a distinction between "setting" a goal and "working on" a goal. These are not necessarily the same thing because, with myGoals.com, you can set goals that do not begin until some future date, even years from now. The idea is that you should be thinking of goals you'd like to shoot for in the future even if you are focused on other things going on in your life right now.
* How many goals can I set?
A goal is "set" when you create a Goalplan, even if you only create a partial plan with the intention of filling in the details later. In fact, you might just write down the name of the goal, for no other reason than to remind you that's it's something you'd like to do later. (You can always edit any of your Goalplans at any later date.)
myGoals.com imposes no limit on the number of goals you can set, regardless of when they start and end.
* How many goals can I "work on" at the same time?
Here, "working on" refers to goals that have begun—meaning the start date you entered has passed. For instance, you might have a goal to run a marathon next year but you might not intend to begin working on this goal (training, etc.) until six months from now. So you would set the start date to occur in six months. So for six months, nothing happens, but you'll see the goal every time you visit, thereby being reminded that this goal exists on the horizon. Only after the start date elapses would the Goalplan become active, sending you task reminders related to that goal.
While there is no technical limit to how many goals you can be working on simultaneously at myGoals.com, it would be easy to overload yourself with too many goals-in-progress. You only have so many hours in a day and so many things you can adequately address at a given time.
We therefore suggest you limit the number of goals you're working on to some manageable number, which for most people will be somewhere between 5 and 10 goals, depending on a few common-sense factors:
o How focused can you be?
If you've got a lot going on in your life right now, little spare time, or if you really need to focus intently on a small number of important things, then don't attempt to take on too many goals at once. It's better to keep your number of goals down to a manageable amount so that you can actually accomplish a few of them now and then (which is much more fun than having many goals that rarely ever get accomplished).
With that said, also be mindful of the importance of balance. Even if you are very focused on one important goal, don't forget the other important things such as your health or personal relationships.
See also:
+ What if my goals conflict with each other?
+ How should I prioritize my goals?
o How difficult are your goals?
Some people use myGoals.com for goals as simple as "To clean my desk." Others use it for goals like "To sell my company." (We suggest you use it for both challenging and easy goals, at least one of each.) The simpler your goals are, the more goals you can be working on simultaneously without causing problems. You might be able to handle twenty "clean my desk"-type goals simultaneously but only one or two "sell my company"-type goals.
o Are your goals short-term or long-term?
We also recommend using myGoals.com for both short-term and long-term goals (at least one of each). Keep in mind however, that the more short-term goals you have, the more tasks you're likely to have coming due soon. To avoid having too many tasks come due at the same time, you might want to have fewer goals if they are mostly short-term goals.
What if my goals conflict with each other?
Almost all goals require some of your resources: time, money, effort, attention, and so on. Because these resources are limited, goals can often appear to be at odds with one another—working on one can mean slipping on the other.
Good management of your goals as a group is important for avoiding frustration:
* Stay focused. Don't set too many goals to come due at the same time. A large number of goals (7+) is okay if the goals are small or simple (such as a goal to shampoo the carpet) but be realistic and don't expect to build a business while getting a law degree while training for a triathlon while raising a family.
* Always have at least one simple goal and one difficult goal at any given time. The simple goals motivate you as you accomplish them rapidly. The difficult goals keep you challenged and growing.
* Always have at least one short-term and one long-term goal at any given time. As with simple goals, short-term goals help assure that you'll have frequent victories. Long-term goals (two years or longer) keep you headed in the right direction.
* Prioritize but be flexible. Decide which of your goals (and tasks) are most important and assign your due dates accordingly. Be willing to change due dates or even put a goal on hold for a while if necessary.
* Spread out your due dates. Avoid setting a large number of difficult goals with tasks due at the same time.
* Look for ways to combine goals and tasks. For instance, if you have a goal to take a vacation and a goal to get better at photography, consider taking a travel photography class that spends a week in the wilderness snapping pics.
* Most of all, strive for balance. Make sure to set goals (whether easy or hard) across different areas of your life: health, finance, family, relations, learning, experiencing, career, etc. For instance, don't set ten career goals but then neglect your health, friends, and family.
How should I prioritize my goals?
Don't ask "What's more important?"
Instead, ask "What am I going to focus on right now?"
Prioritizing goals can be confusing if you think in terms of "which is more important?" The reason is that, over the long term, all of your goals are probably important, or they wouldn't be goals. So asking which is more important is like asking whether it's more important to breathe or eat—at this moment, breathing is more important. But eventually, all the air in the world won't matter if you don't get some food.
We therefore suggest you abandon the notion of prioritizing by "importance." Instead, we think in terms of timing: "which will I focus on more right now?"
Even when one goal is clearly more important than another, timing will sometimes dictate that the less important goal take precedence at this time. For example, just because health and family might be one person's most important priorities in life, that doesn't mean that working late might not occasionally be the most intelligent use of an evening, even if it precludes being home for dinner or going to the gym.
So assume that all the Goalplans you've created or adopted are essentially of equal importance, over the long run at least. Don't worry if, in fact, one goal is truly more important. The point is not to prioritize the goal, but to prioritize what you're going to do right now.
On any given day, or week, you can choose to focus on some goals more than others. The goal that receives the most attention can and probably will change frequently. This flexible approach is very workable if you don't set too many goals or tasks to come due at the same time.
Someone might ask which goal is more important:
"To strengthen my relationship with my spouse"
or
"To earn a promotion at work"
Both of these may be very important, but clearly, one may need more attention at any given time. This flexibility allows you to have fun and set many diverse goals (travel, savings, relationships, and health, for instance), keep track of them, focusing on certain ones now, and shifting focus to others as needed—without having to make an artificial decision about their order of importance. You can even set a very long range goal with a start date that doesn't even begin for several years, but at least it will be there to look at whenever you are reviewing your goals and thinking about the future.
Some people definitely prefer to work on their goals one-at-a-time, which is completely fine. Most, however, opt to adjust the date settings of each goal (and its associated tasks) to manage multiple goals simultaneously, directing attention and efforts as changing circumstances dictate.
In how many categories should I set goals?
The number of categories in which you should set goals depends on your particular situation. How well-balanced is your life right now? What are your priorities? How busy are you? Are you already strong in some areas, but weak in others? Answers to questions like these will give you a sense of where to focus your efforts.
In general, expect to focus on a few goals in more than one category at a time, as opposed to 10 goals in one category or 1 goal in each of 10 categories. It's okay to set lots of goals in multiple categories—especially long-term goals that you may not begin working on right now. Be realistic about how many you can effectively pursue in a given time frame. (See also "How should I prioritize my goals?".)
I have an idea for a goal, but I'm not sure where to begin.
First, be sure to read "What makes a good goal." The next step is to create your own Goalplan from scratch or adopt a pre-made Goalplan that is similar to the goal you have in mind.
You'll find that creating a Goalplan from scratch is very easy. Consider reading one of the pre-made Goalplans to get an idea of how they are structured, then begin building your own. You'll be walked through the process step-by-step. Don't worry about making it perfect—your Goalplans are completely editable at any time, even when you come back to myGoals.com at a later date.
If you choose to adopt a pre-made Goalplan, all you have to do is modify it to suit your circumstances by adding, deleting, and changing obstacles and tasks, and by setting dates. Our pre-made Goalplans also provide helpful details and recommended resources to assist you.
When should I adopt a pre-made Goalplan versus create my own?
The pre-made Goalplans in myGoals.com are designed to give you a template from which to start. Look at some of them to see examples of typical obstacles and tasks. If you adopt a pre-made plan, expect to edit it to suit your situation by adding, deleting, and changing obstacles, tasks and due dates. A pre-made Goalplan also provides helpful details and recommended resources to assist you in your goal pursuit.
Pre-made Goalplans do not exist for every category, nor can they be written for many uniquely personal goals. You'll create more personalized Goalplans yourself by significantly modifying a related pre-made Goalplan or creating your own Goalplan from scratch using our simple step-by-step process.
Whether you modify a pre-made Goalplan or create one from scratch, the more you tailor it to your situation, the more effective it will be for you. Spend time thinking through the obstacles and tasks that apply to you. You will learn about yourself in the process and dramatically increase your ability to accomplish the goal.
What if I can't find a pre-made Goalplan that suits me?
You have two options if you can't find the pre-made Goalplan you're looking for.
* First, if you find a pre-made Goalplan that is similar, then you can use that as a starting point. Once you've adopted a pre-made Goalplan, you can edit every piece of it, including re-naming, adding, and removing any element. So, for instance, if you have a goal to pay off your student loans, you might begin with our pre-made Goalplan titled "To Pay Off My Debt" and then modify it to apply only to your student loans.
* If you can't find a similar pre-made Goalplan, then you should create your own Goalplan from scratch using our step-by-step process. It's a very simple and fun process for creating a comprehensive plan for accomplishing your goal.
If you set a lot of goals, most of them will be made from scratch.
Do I need a reason for having a goal?
You likely have a reason (or multiple reasons) for every goal you set, whether you realize it or not. It's worth knowing for certain what the reasons are, in order to clarify that you're pursuing the right goal, for the right reason.
For example, suppose somebody has the goal, "to buy a bigger boat than my brother's."
Asking the question "why a bigger boat?" could shed light on the fact that this person is compelled to compete with and out-do his brother. If so, perhaps there are other issues to be addressed such as self-esteem and respect, that owning a larger boat will not solve. Perhaps a more appropriate goal would be "to earn my brother's respect." Clearly, identifying the root obstacles and tasks required to accomplish such a goal could have a profound impact on this person's life that could not be achieved with a boat of any size.
On the other hand, perhaps the reason for a bigger boat is that our goal-setter always felt cramped on his brother's boat, and that it would be too small to live aboard for a week. If the goal is really to be able to take extended trips in a boat, then that might suggest yet a different type of goal.
In each case, honest evaluation of why you want to achieve the goal can lead to insights and personal discovery. Know what you are doing, and know why you are doing it.
The more fully you understand why you want something, the more motivated you will be to keep working at it until you have accomplished it.
Staying on Track
What else can I do to accomplish my goal?
The most important step is to create a Goalplan that can work:
* Break big pieces of the goal down into small steps.
* Be sure you've listed all the relevant obstacles and the tasks needed to overcome them.
* Assign dates realistically. Adjust them as necessary.
* Set your reminders to keep you on track. Reminders are defaulted to weekly emails but you can make them more or less frequent, or program them to notify you at specific times.
* Think of the Goalplan as dynamic, intended to be changed as necessary. Add, rename, or delete obstacles and tasks as the situation warrants.
* Read the "notes" included in pre-made Goalplans, as they include many useful tips. Add your own notes as work on any goal.
Some other tips:
* Solicit the encouragement of supportive family members and friends.
* Avoid the discussion of your goals with naysayers.
* myGoals.com pre-made Goalplans include expert content and recommended solutions for completing your tasks. Links to other resources are also provided to help you get there.
* Don't stop, even if you get side-tracked or discouraged. Just get back on track and keep plodding forward. The best way to ensure your success is simply to keep on going. The accumulation of many small steps equals significant progress and the further you go, the easier it gets.
What if I get discouraged?
If you feel discouraged, it's probably the result of not meeting one of your own expectations. Ask yourself, "Was the expectation realistic in the first place?" If not, you have no reason to feel discouraged. Simply create a new goal (or tasks) that you feel are realistic and keep on going.
But if you believe your expectations are realistic and you're just not making progress, you need to figure out why. Review your Goalplan and ask yourself, "What obstacles are hindering my progress?" Have you identified all the obstacles? Have you listed appropriate tasks to overcome those obstacles? Are the dates assigned to those tasks realistic? Are you utilizing the recommended resources and solutions? Are you just procrastinating? If so, why? Assess the circumstances and modify your Goalplan—and actions—as necessary.
For more, see "What if I can't complete a goal?"
What if I can't complete a goal?
There are a number of good approaches to take if you find that you are having difficulty in completing one of your goals, particularly if you begin to fundamentally doubt whether the goal is achieveable or worth the effort.
* First, don't get discouraged.
It's worth noting that many of life's most difficult accomplishments are also some of the most worthwhile. And the most noteworthy accomplishments are, by definition, not common. That's because, if something were easy, then everyone would be doing it and it would no longer be very noteworthy. Not only is there nothing wrong with taking on tough challenges, many believe there is something wrong with only taking on easy goals that require no real effort or growth.
* Recognize partial accomplishment.
Partial accomplishment is still accomplishment. Suppose you're living a sedentary lifestyle and you set a goal to start running 10 miles every week. If you only manage to run eight miles most weeks, then it's important to recognize that this is a huge improvement over running none at all and that you have been much more successful than if you had never set the goal in the first place. Acknowledging partial success is very important if you intend to set challenging or lofty goals.
* Break large, difficult goals into smaller, manageable goals.
Large, difficult, or complex goals can be both overwhelming and discouraging if progress does not come quickly. The solution to both of these is to break the big goal into smaller goals, actually creating a separate Goalplan for each part. By shelving some of the pieces until a later date, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed or discouraged.
* Use your personal support group.
When appropriate, call on trusted family and friends to help if they can, even if it just means lending encouragement (though be careful to avoid naysayers, who sometimes reside in the same house). Try to find people who've got first-hand experience doing what you're doing trying to do. Many people will give time and advice when they meet somebody else who's curious or passionate about whatever it is they're passionate about.
* Internalize the lesson of perseverence.
It is usually true that something, no matter how difficult, can be done if someone spends enough time trying to do it. If you think of any goal as requiring a finite number of steps (tasks), then each task completed is one step closer toward completion of the goal. Again, the key is often to break the steps down into what may seem to be absurdly simple tasks, but ones that you know you can complete, thereby making measurable progress and establishing forward momentum.
* Is it ever time to give up?
You are the only one who can decide when enough is enough and that it's time to move on to something different. Unfortunately, many people give up too soon, and some even establish a tradition of completing 50% of many things but 100% of nothing. Because our mission is to help you "get things done," and because we strongly believe in the power of perseverence, we naturally encourage you to keep on going.
However, we understand that goals change, as well as the underlying motivations for individual goals. And more importantly, we advocate and encourage balance (over the long-term, at least), meaning that an obsessive focus on one goal could eventually lead to unhealthy or destructive negligence of other aspects of one's life, such as the classic case in which career obsession leads to one's neglect of health or family obligations.
So in the interest of promoting healthy balance, we suggest that you frequently take stock of all of your goals, with an eye toward the balanced whole. If, at such a time, you decide that your emphasis needs to be shifted elsewhere for the time being, then consider rescheduling some of your goals (or tasks) for a later date. Not only is there nothing wrong with such rescheduling, myGoals.com is specifically designed to allow this flexibility.
What if my goals change?
The reality is, most people's goals do change over time. In fact, goals usually should change, at least slightly, in response to things that change around you or new life events. Think back to what was important to you five years ago, or even one year ago. Are the same goals still important to you today? Chances are, some of your short- and medium-term goals either have already been achieved, are no longer desirable, or need to be modified slightly. The Goalplans you manage in myGoals.com are a direct reflection of where you are and where you're going in life. Change is part of the process, so accept it, welcome it. (Just remember to update your Goalplans!)
But be honest with yourself. Don't pretend to no longer care about a thing if, in fact, you've just been procrastinating and you really still do care. Remember, it is okay to put off working on a goal if you make a willful, determined decision to do so for good reason, such as opting to focus on a different goal for the time-being. myGoals.com allows you to change start and end dates of any of your goals, at any time.
How do I deal with fear of failure?
Fear of failure is a genuinely scary thing for many people, and often the reason that individuals do not attempt the things they would like to accomplish. But the only true failure is failure to make the attempt. If you don't try, you gain nothing, and life is too short a thing to waste.
On the other hand, if you do try but don't succeed, then it's a learning experience for which you are probably a better person, with more knowledge and skill than before—all the better equipped for the next attempt.
If you try and only partially succeed, you still had more success than you had before. For example, a man once had a goal to save $1,000 by a certain date. On that date, he only had $850 saved. His friend told him he failed, but the friend was flat wrong because the man had $850 more than he would not have had if he hadn't set the goal in the first place. The world is not always black-and-white. Shades of gray often do exist and partial success is still success.
Think of myGoals.com as your own private, personal coach that is here for one reason only: to support you no matter what—no criticism, no judgment. In this environment, there is no basis for fear of failure.
How do I deal with actual failure?
This is important: "Failure" only occurs when you fail to try in the first place or when you give up on a goal you want to achieve without having first given it your all. Missed deadlines are not failures. Setbacks are not failures. Unexpected challenges or changing priorities are not failures (in fact, they're quite normal). Feeling discouraged doesn't mean you failed. You can only fail if you quit, and there's an easy solution to that:
Keep going or start again.
So long as you are working toward your goal and following a plan, you haven't failed. If you stop, just start back up again. And remember, every step forward, every single task you check off as completed is a small accomplishment unto itself. Focus on just taking that next baby step, then the next, then the next. If the tasks are too difficult, then break them down into absurdly simple tasks, ones that you're guaranteed to complete. It may seem ridiculous to break down something as simple as cleaning a garage into forty individual tasks, but in doing so, you can build momentum with each task checked off. It's a bit like playing a game with yourself, but it really works.
See also, "What if I can't complete a goal?"
What if a new obstacle comes up?
Expect unexpected obstacles to come up. When they do, add them to your Goalplan and create a list of tasks to overcome that obstacle. Part of the skill in achieving goals is learning to deal with adversity, setbacks, and surprises. Be flexible and take them in stride. Be willing to change your plan or change your timeline. Just don't abandon your goal if it's something you truly want.
What if my goals depend on other people or things out of my control?
If you choose to set a goal in which the outcome is dependent on the actions of somebody else, acknowledge now that, through no fault of your own, you may not reach that goal. For example, the goal "To toilet train my daughter by the end of the week" is largely dependent on your daughter's cooperation. That doesn't mean it's not a good or worthy goal, it simply requires a more flexible frame of mind—you can't force someone else to adhere to your plan.
Matters of chance or competition are similar. Winning a game, a pageant, or admission to a particularly selective school may be worthy of your efforts and a good goal. But again, accept that the outcome, though influenced by your actions, is not entirely in your control.
If you pursue one or more goals like this, be sure to set and pursue several other goals in which you are entirely in control of the outcome. Your life shouldn't be left too much to chance—take control of as much as you possibly can. Wherever possible, aim to accomplish tasks that tilt the odds in your favor.
How do I stay focused and on track?
First, accept personal responsibility for staying on track. It's not up to anyone else, just you. You alone decide what you want to accomplish, and when. Life has a way of distracting us from what we'd like to be doing much of the time, so use the reminders and resources of myGoals.com to help keep part of your attention on your short- and long-term goals.
Most importantly, don't ignore your Goalplan reminders. If you fall behind, refocus your efforts, update your Goalplan, change any deadlines that need to be changed, and keep at it. Take short and easy baby-steps if necessary, but keep on going. You'll keep getting closer and eventually you will get there.
How do I avoid procrastination?
As for procrastinating with respect to actually sitting down and setting your goals, the answer is simple—do it now. That's it; just do it now. Take some step, no matter small. Do something right this moment while you are sitting at the computer, such as setting a goal (or even just starting a Goalplan which you'll complete later) or setting a task. Simply stating your intentions in this way is a powerful first step.
If you don't know what your goals are,
then set the following goal right now:
"To identify my goals and enter them
into myGoals.com within one week."
Don't worry if the goals you set aren't perfect.
You can always change them later. The point is to
do something right now.
To avoid procrastination when working on tasks for a goal, make sure to schedule the time and place to get the tasks done. Then protect that appointment so nothing else interferes. Most people procrastinate as a result of not planning when to do the task. Use myGoals.com's task reminders to keep you on track. Always read the reminders you receive and either complete the task at that time or reschedule for some time that makes more sense.
What if I miss a deadline?
First of all, don't worry. Life is complex and things beyond your control will come up. This includes not only unexpected problems, but unexpected opportunities as well. No matter how well you plan, you must remain flexible and able to adapt to your environment.
It's okay to change dates as you go.
Recognize that most deadlines are self-imposed and act as a tool to empower and motivate yourself. They exist to help you complete a task, not to cause you stress or feelings of failure if you miss them. As you pursue a goal, task deadlines can be re-set as circumstances warrant. When a task is past-due, either:
a) complete the task and check it off, or
b) immediately reset the deadline to a new, realistic date and keep working on the task.
Don't let date slippage discourage your goal-setting outlook. If you miss a date for a task or a goal, simply re-assign it with a new realistic date. Don't sweat it, just keep moving forward.
What if I get stuck on a task?
First ask yourself whether the task is necessary. It is okay to delete a task if you do not feel it propels you forward to the completion of your goal.
Then ask "Is it realistic?" Can you do it? If not, consider modifying the task or seeking assistance. Don't assume you have to do it alone. Help exists in many forms. Consider speaking to subject matter experts such as instructors, advisors, coaches, tutors, supervisors, or anyone who has successfully dealt with a similar task before. Knowledge can be found in online resources, books, audiocassette programs, publications, CD-ROM software and distance learning programs. Encouragement can be found in your friends and family, co-workers, and other people who share the same goal.
If a task seems too big to handle, ask yourself what obstacles are preventing you from completing the task. Consider breaking the task into smaller, more manageable pieces—even to the point where they seem absurdly simple. You might even consider converting the task into an entire Goalplan of its own. For instance, if your goal is to sell your home and if doing so requires landscaping the yard first, then create a new Goalplan, "to landscape the yard," rather than merely trying to complete it as a task in your Goalplan titled "to sell my house."
Next, consider whether the obstacle can ultimately be overcome some other way, using an entirely different strategy that would require completely different tasks.
Finally, be persistent. There is little that can't be done when a person continues trying.
Getting the Most from myGoals.com Features
Here are some tips and comments related to specific features of myGoals.com. For actual step-by-step instructions on how to use a particular feature, see the next section of this Help Center, "Using myGoals.com."
I was taught that goals must always have a due date; what is an "on-going" goal?
See above: "Must All Goals Have Deadlines?"
What do I do when I accomplish a goal?
First, congratulate yourself! The achievement of any goal, large or small, is a noteworthy accomplishment. Share the news with your family and friends, especially those who have been supporting your efforts. Include them in your success, and be sure to acknowledge their contributions, no matter how small. If you've attached a reward (such as buying something for yourself if you reach the goal on time), this is the time to enjoy it.
To mark the goal as done, click on the red "Goal Accomplished" button at the top right corner of that goal's page:
Some people use the excitement and momentum of the moment to immediately set a new goal.
Once you've marked your Goalplan as completed, it will be moved from your list of current Goalplans to your "Completed Goals" page.
Why do I have to list a goal's obstacles?
Part of the effectiveness of the patent-pending myGoals.com methodology comes from recognizing what problems, challenges, and obstacles are standing between you and achieving your goals. Most goal-setting techniques overlook this step, instead jumping to a list of "action steps" that may or may not effectively achieve the goal. By identifying exactly what the obstacles are and creating a specific plan to overcome them, myGoals.com helps ensure you are pursuing a plan that can lead to goal achievement.
We intentionally do not refer to obstacles as "challenges," "opportunities," or other feel-good euphemisms. The word "obstacle" is not negative, it's neutral. It is simply something that stands between where you are and where you want to be. Once you remove the obstacles, there's nothing left to do but cross the finish line.
While the myGoals.com process does not dwell on the obstacles once your Goalplan is created, it is an important step for creating a much more effective plan.
Any obstacle can be removed, added, or edited at any time.
How frequently should I opt to receive reminders?
For any given task, you can elect to receive one or more reminders for that task, at any interval you like. You can have reminders sent to you:
* One time only (on a specific date)
* Any selection of days each week (such as Tuesdays and Thursdays of every week)
* Any selection of dates each month (such as the 1st and 15th of each month)
* Some number of days prior to the task's due date
* Randomly (see details below)
* No reminder
(We combine all reminders related to the same goal into one email per day in order to keep you from receiving an unmanageable number of total emails.)
The interesting thing is that, other than the "prior to due date" option, these reminders need not necessarily coincide with when your tasks are due. That is, the settings are designed to allow you to be reminded at any time about a particular task, such as when you plan to be working on the task.
You might also use reminders just to keep the task or goal in mind even if you don't intend to focus on that task or goal until much later. So for instance, you may have a long-term goal to do something several years from now. And even though you may not be able to focus on that goal right now (perhaps you're still in school or busy raising a family), you can use the reminders to keep that goal ever-present in your thoughts and plans, such as by opting to receive a random reminder—say, several times per year—to read a related book or browse the Web for the latest trends or information related to that long-term goal.
You are the judge as to how best to put this tool to use. Many people use myGoals.com as a daily planner, with a large number of ordinary things coming due each week, such as business meetings, organizing a happy hour, paying the bills, or picking up the dry cleaning. But virtually all people use myGoals.com for long-range planning, looking ahead multiple months or years to tackle some of life's more challenging and fascinating goals.
What are "random" reminders used for?
As the old joke goes, "spontaneity has its time and place." It turns out that the joke is completely true. There are certain things—life's important moments akin to stopping to smell the roses—that can and should be done periodically, but not necessarily according to any specific calendar event.
You may set task reminders to intervals of:
* Randomly sent a few times per week
* Randomly sent a few times per month
* Randomly sent a few times per year
These are particularly helpful in reminding you to perform a recurring task "spontaneously," such as:
* Task: "Compliment my assistant on something done well"
* Task: "Call my parents"
* Task: "Take my kids out for ice cream"
* Task: "Take the afternoon off and play a round of golf"
When is a task a "milestone"?
Completion of certain tasks represents significant progress toward achieving a goal. These important tasks, called "milestones," are noteworthy or perhaps even newsworthy to your family and friends.
For example, in the Goalplan, "to get my private pilot's license" a milestone task might be:
"To pass my FAA written exam"
or
"To fly solo"
Each milestone you reach is a major, tangible step closer to your goal. It has special meaning as a measure of success, even though the complete goal has not yet been fully realized.
How should I use the "notes" fields in a Goalplan?
The "notes" fields in a pre-made Goalplan are often filled with helpful explanations, recommended resources, tips, and suggestions regarding he task. In Goalplans you create yourself, use the notes field in a similar way, inserting links to other web pages, phone numbers, research notes, or anything you think of that is related to that particular task that you might want to recall later.
When should I use a "recurring" task?
Most tasks are completed once, checked-off, and done-forever. A recurring task, however, is a different kind of task that you intend to repeat over and over. For example:
Recurring Task
Reminder
Go to the gym
Mon, Wed, Fri
Pay bills
1st and 15th of each month
Change oil in car
Every 90 days
Buy spouse flowers for no reason
Randomly, a few times per year
The use of recurring tasks and their associated reminder schedules is a very powerful tool for helping you keep on track with various goals. Keep in mind that some recurring tasks will have a start and end date, such as a task to run every day for two months leading up to a marathon.
But a perhaps even more powerful aspect of recurring tasks is that they can help you establish permanent lifestyle changes that might otherwise be difficult to adopt. As such, some recurring tasks may relate to things that you plan to do for the forseeable future and therefore require no end-date, such as a recurring task to read to your children every night before bed.
Other Tips
Should I keep my goals private?
Obviously, some goals are so personal that you would keep them private or only disclose to your closest confidants. That said, it is a well-known tenant of goal-setting that you are more likely to achieve your goals if you tell your family and friends about them. Not only will you want to avoid looking inconsistent for abandoning a goal, but their support and assistance can be invaluable. Remember to share your goals with those who are in a position to encourage you.
Avoid discussing your goals with naysayers. It's unfortunate, but many people who see others striving to improve themselves are reminded that they themselves could use some improvement. Rather than setting goals of their own, they find it easier to belittle or ridicule the goals of others. While some goal-setters derive motivation from naysayers ("I'll show them!"), most find it best to avoid such topics with negative people.
What if there is an unsupportive person in my life?
Either tune out the negativity or simply distance yourself. Don't let their negativity pull you down. If that person is your spouse or lives in the same household, then you may have a more complicated problem. Try to understand whether the other person is critical of a particular goal of yours or of goals in general. Also try to understand whether the person has his or her own goals and demonstrate your encouragement for the things he or she would like to accomplish. You might also look for ways to work together by coming up with goals you both agree on and can pursue together.
In many cases, it's simply easiest to keep your goals to yourself or share them only with supportive people. (See also "Should I keep my goals private?")
How do I get others (family and friends, etc.) to set goals?
Even if somebody you care for doesn't routinely set goals, everyone has something they want—someplace they want to visit or something they want to learn or do or buy. What they may not have is the knowledge, tools, discipline, or belief to accomplish or even begin pursuit of that goal.
While myGoals.com can help them with the knowledge, tools, and discipline parts...belief is internal. If fear of failure (or fear of success) is the problem keeping the person from pursuing their goal, then the solution is to start small. Accomplishing small, simple tasks, then small goals, followed by larger goals, builds the habit of progress that breeds confidence. You can't make someone pursue a goal, but you can offer encouragement and support. You can help them and you can set an example. Be sure to tell them about myGoals.com!
"Obstacles" sounds negative. Can't I use a different term like "challenges" or "opportunities"?
No. Our patent-pending goal-setting process is designed specifically to target and eliminate your obstacles. But you can't eliminate something if you don't call attention to it. Obstacles are not inherently negative, they are simply things that stand between you and your objective. Consider this example: The freezer door stands between you and the ice cubes. Is a freezer door inherently negative? No, it's simply something that you have to deal with before you get your ice. Some doors are harder to open then others (and some are locked), just as obstacles may be simple or hard. But before you overcome them, you must identify them. Once you have, you can systematically work at overcoming or going around them. There's nothing negative about tackling something head on. Indeed, it would be detrimental to pretend it's not there or to ignore it.
Is myGoals.com a business expense or tax deductible?
If you use myGoals.com to help you at your job, then your employer may allow you to be reimbursed for using the service. If so, simply make a copy of your credit card statement with the myGoals.com charge highlighted and submit it to your employer.
If you are self-employed, then you can claim the amount as a business expense if you use myGoals.com to set goals related to your business.
What makes a good goal?
Traditional goal-setting wisdom has taught us that a good goal must be a) written, b) challenging, c) believable, d) specific, e) measureable, and f) have a specific deadline. Unfortunately, it's not too difficult to think of an example that directly challenges any of the above goal-setting criteria. For instance, the goal "to live a more spiritual life" may be a valuable, meaningful goal for many, but it's hardly measurable and assigning a deadline makes little sense for a permanent alteration of lifestyle.
This traditional checklist of things that "make a good goal" is largely a product of old technology: pen and paper. The old-school of goal-setting suggested that people write down goals on a small slip of paper and keep it in their wallet or purse. Suffice to say that slips of paper rapidly dissolve into lint. Today we have email.
So what makes a good goal? All of the above criteria are still good components of most goals. However, they are not necessarily all required when using myGoals.com. For our purposes, a good goal is one that is worthy of individual pursuit. And that is so highly subjective, far be it from us to define what is your worthy pursuit.
A different question is, "What makes a good Goalplan?" On this, our position is precise: A good Goalplan is one that when followed, offers a reasonably high probability of success, given sufficient time.
Let's take each of the traditional points one-at-a-time:
* Must all goals be written?
It's important to record your goals, whether you enter them into myGoals.com or physically write them down on paper. The problem with the paper method is that hand-written goals are difficult to update and manage, and of course, hand-written goals provide none of the additional features that are made possible by the Web.
* Must all goals be believable?
You must believe that it is at least possible for you to achieve the goal or you will not be motivated to try. More importantly, it is you who must believe, not others (see what to do about naysayers). Also, just because you should believe that the goal is possible does not mean that you must expect it to be easy or even probable. Indeed, some argue that completion of only the most difficult goals will have enduring value to you. Similarly, some of history's greatest moments were the result of people attempting the "impossible," such as flying or putting a man on the moon. See more about setting "realistic" goals.
* Must all goals be challenging?
No. We recommend setting at least one easy goal and at least one challenging goal. You could have several of each but you should limit the number of challenging goals or tasks coming due at any one time to avoid becoming overwhelmed or frustrated. The easy goals build good habits of follow-through and reward you with quick gratification. The challenging goals force you to grow. A mix of the two is ideal.
* Must all goals be measurable and specific?
Your goals should be measurable and specific enough for you to know unambiguously whether they have been completed yet or not. However, to save space on the computer screen, abbreviated goal titles such as "to reduce my stress" might be more convenient than titles such as "to reduce my stress by practicing yoga three nights a week and lowering my blood pressure by 10 points." Instead, make individual tasks in myGoals.com measurable and specific as much as possible, even if the details must be written in the task's "notes" area.
* Must all goals have deadlines?
Here's the big shocker: Goals no longer have to have a deadline! Technology has allowed us to expand the definition of what a goal can be to include a direction, commitment, or lifestyle enhancement as opposed to a mere end-point. The technology utilized in myGoals.com allows a new and completely revolutionary look at the need for a goal to have a deadline. We offer a new type of goal called an "on-going" goal, that is sustained over time, managed, and tracked, but by design, never-ending. Why, for instance, would you want to end a goal, "to keep myself in excellent physical condition" or "to be an honest and trustworthy person"? Such goals should have no end-date, and now they don't have to. This concept may sound revolutionary to long-time power goal-setters. It is revolutionary. We invite you to try it.
Should my goals be short-term or long-term?
We recommend that you always have at least one short-term and one long-term goal at any given time. Short-term goals are usually simpler and easier than long-term. Setting them helps assure that you'll have frequent victories, building a strong track record and momentum with each one you complete.
Long-term goals (two years or longer) keep you headed in the right direction and can provide a sense of greater purpose, not to mention something exciting to work toward.
It's okay to change goals as you go.
With long-term goals, it's important not to focus on the goal so much that you lose sight of the underlying reason you set the goal in the first place. The world changes and so can you. While follow-through and persistance are among the most important traits related to long-term accomplishment, so is the ability to re-assess along the way. So long as you are honest with yourself, it's okay to change your mind, change goals mid-stream, shelve one for a later day, or cancel one altogether. Again, the trick is to be honest with yourself, and not change your mind so frequently that you never accomplish anything. (See also "What if my goals change?")
Should my goals be lofty or practical?
Only you can decide what is "lofty" or "practical" and how many goals of either flavor you'd like to set. Indeed, one person's lofty might be another's practical, and vice-versa. This service is here to help you accomplish anything you set out to do, from painting the house to reforming public education. And while we're always thrilled to hear success stories from our users who've done newsworthy and inspiring things, we also know that these can't be done without also taking care of the simpler items on life's to-do list.
But assuming you've covered your bases and been mindful of the balanced whole, and if you've got the energy and passion to apply to something beyond the ordinary, then—by all means—reach for the stars!
Along these same lines, be sure to also see:
* Must all goals be challenging?
* Must all goals be believable?
* How do I know if a goal is realistic?
With lofty goals, pay extra attention to whom you're willing to discuss your goals with, particularly when you first begin and have no demonstrable milestones achieved. The old adage, "show, don't tell," exists because naysayers are quick to label lofty goal-setters as fools or dreamers, and deeds shut them up faster than promises. Your personal support group of family and friends (at least, those whom you trust to be supportive) is an exception. Use them as a resource whenever appropriate.
For more on dealing with naysayers, "Should I keep my goals private?"
How do I know if a goal is realistic?
A goal is realistic if you stand reasonably good odds of accomplishing it, given enough time and effort—and indeed, mountains can be moved if given enough time and effort. "Good odds" is a subjective measure, but one that you have most control over when success or failure depends on what you do, as opposed to what other people do or random events (such as goals "to become an astronaut" or "to win the lottery").
The majority of the goals you set should be very realistic or you risk becoming frustrated if you do not accomplish any of them. However, there is nothing wrong with attempting things that defy the odds or that you expect to be extremely difficult. Such goals require courage, defined here as "attempting something even though you might not succeed."
Almost any goal, no matter how difficult, can be made easier by breaking it down into several smaller goals, to be tackled one at a time. The completion of so-called "baby steps" is one of the best ways to build confidence, momentum, and a track record of performance.
And finally, when you create or update a Goalplan, ask yourself, "Will completing these steps lead to completion of the goal?" If not, then modify the obstacles, tasks, or due dates until a viable plan exists.
How many goals should I have at the same time?
You can set many goals without worrying about spreading yourself too thin because we make a distinction between "setting" a goal and "working on" a goal. These are not necessarily the same thing because, with myGoals.com, you can set goals that do not begin until some future date, even years from now. The idea is that you should be thinking of goals you'd like to shoot for in the future even if you are focused on other things going on in your life right now.
* How many goals can I set?
A goal is "set" when you create a Goalplan, even if you only create a partial plan with the intention of filling in the details later. In fact, you might just write down the name of the goal, for no other reason than to remind you that's it's something you'd like to do later. (You can always edit any of your Goalplans at any later date.)
myGoals.com imposes no limit on the number of goals you can set, regardless of when they start and end.
* How many goals can I "work on" at the same time?
Here, "working on" refers to goals that have begun—meaning the start date you entered has passed. For instance, you might have a goal to run a marathon next year but you might not intend to begin working on this goal (training, etc.) until six months from now. So you would set the start date to occur in six months. So for six months, nothing happens, but you'll see the goal every time you visit, thereby being reminded that this goal exists on the horizon. Only after the start date elapses would the Goalplan become active, sending you task reminders related to that goal.
While there is no technical limit to how many goals you can be working on simultaneously at myGoals.com, it would be easy to overload yourself with too many goals-in-progress. You only have so many hours in a day and so many things you can adequately address at a given time.
We therefore suggest you limit the number of goals you're working on to some manageable number, which for most people will be somewhere between 5 and 10 goals, depending on a few common-sense factors:
o How focused can you be?
If you've got a lot going on in your life right now, little spare time, or if you really need to focus intently on a small number of important things, then don't attempt to take on too many goals at once. It's better to keep your number of goals down to a manageable amount so that you can actually accomplish a few of them now and then (which is much more fun than having many goals that rarely ever get accomplished).
With that said, also be mindful of the importance of balance. Even if you are very focused on one important goal, don't forget the other important things such as your health or personal relationships.
See also:
+ What if my goals conflict with each other?
+ How should I prioritize my goals?
o How difficult are your goals?
Some people use myGoals.com for goals as simple as "To clean my desk." Others use it for goals like "To sell my company." (We suggest you use it for both challenging and easy goals, at least one of each.) The simpler your goals are, the more goals you can be working on simultaneously without causing problems. You might be able to handle twenty "clean my desk"-type goals simultaneously but only one or two "sell my company"-type goals.
o Are your goals short-term or long-term?
We also recommend using myGoals.com for both short-term and long-term goals (at least one of each). Keep in mind however, that the more short-term goals you have, the more tasks you're likely to have coming due soon. To avoid having too many tasks come due at the same time, you might want to have fewer goals if they are mostly short-term goals.
What if my goals conflict with each other?
Almost all goals require some of your resources: time, money, effort, attention, and so on. Because these resources are limited, goals can often appear to be at odds with one another—working on one can mean slipping on the other.
Good management of your goals as a group is important for avoiding frustration:
* Stay focused. Don't set too many goals to come due at the same time. A large number of goals (7+) is okay if the goals are small or simple (such as a goal to shampoo the carpet) but be realistic and don't expect to build a business while getting a law degree while training for a triathlon while raising a family.
* Always have at least one simple goal and one difficult goal at any given time. The simple goals motivate you as you accomplish them rapidly. The difficult goals keep you challenged and growing.
* Always have at least one short-term and one long-term goal at any given time. As with simple goals, short-term goals help assure that you'll have frequent victories. Long-term goals (two years or longer) keep you headed in the right direction.
* Prioritize but be flexible. Decide which of your goals (and tasks) are most important and assign your due dates accordingly. Be willing to change due dates or even put a goal on hold for a while if necessary.
* Spread out your due dates. Avoid setting a large number of difficult goals with tasks due at the same time.
* Look for ways to combine goals and tasks. For instance, if you have a goal to take a vacation and a goal to get better at photography, consider taking a travel photography class that spends a week in the wilderness snapping pics.
* Most of all, strive for balance. Make sure to set goals (whether easy or hard) across different areas of your life: health, finance, family, relations, learning, experiencing, career, etc. For instance, don't set ten career goals but then neglect your health, friends, and family.
How should I prioritize my goals?
Don't ask "What's more important?"
Instead, ask "What am I going to focus on right now?"
Prioritizing goals can be confusing if you think in terms of "which is more important?" The reason is that, over the long term, all of your goals are probably important, or they wouldn't be goals. So asking which is more important is like asking whether it's more important to breathe or eat—at this moment, breathing is more important. But eventually, all the air in the world won't matter if you don't get some food.
We therefore suggest you abandon the notion of prioritizing by "importance." Instead, we think in terms of timing: "which will I focus on more right now?"
Even when one goal is clearly more important than another, timing will sometimes dictate that the less important goal take precedence at this time. For example, just because health and family might be one person's most important priorities in life, that doesn't mean that working late might not occasionally be the most intelligent use of an evening, even if it precludes being home for dinner or going to the gym.
So assume that all the Goalplans you've created or adopted are essentially of equal importance, over the long run at least. Don't worry if, in fact, one goal is truly more important. The point is not to prioritize the goal, but to prioritize what you're going to do right now.
On any given day, or week, you can choose to focus on some goals more than others. The goal that receives the most attention can and probably will change frequently. This flexible approach is very workable if you don't set too many goals or tasks to come due at the same time.
Someone might ask which goal is more important:
"To strengthen my relationship with my spouse"
or
"To earn a promotion at work"
Both of these may be very important, but clearly, one may need more attention at any given time. This flexibility allows you to have fun and set many diverse goals (travel, savings, relationships, and health, for instance), keep track of them, focusing on certain ones now, and shifting focus to others as needed—without having to make an artificial decision about their order of importance. You can even set a very long range goal with a start date that doesn't even begin for several years, but at least it will be there to look at whenever you are reviewing your goals and thinking about the future.
Some people definitely prefer to work on their goals one-at-a-time, which is completely fine. Most, however, opt to adjust the date settings of each goal (and its associated tasks) to manage multiple goals simultaneously, directing attention and efforts as changing circumstances dictate.
In how many categories should I set goals?
The number of categories in which you should set goals depends on your particular situation. How well-balanced is your life right now? What are your priorities? How busy are you? Are you already strong in some areas, but weak in others? Answers to questions like these will give you a sense of where to focus your efforts.
In general, expect to focus on a few goals in more than one category at a time, as opposed to 10 goals in one category or 1 goal in each of 10 categories. It's okay to set lots of goals in multiple categories—especially long-term goals that you may not begin working on right now. Be realistic about how many you can effectively pursue in a given time frame. (See also "How should I prioritize my goals?".)
I have an idea for a goal, but I'm not sure where to begin.
First, be sure to read "What makes a good goal." The next step is to create your own Goalplan from scratch or adopt a pre-made Goalplan that is similar to the goal you have in mind.
You'll find that creating a Goalplan from scratch is very easy. Consider reading one of the pre-made Goalplans to get an idea of how they are structured, then begin building your own. You'll be walked through the process step-by-step. Don't worry about making it perfect—your Goalplans are completely editable at any time, even when you come back to myGoals.com at a later date.
If you choose to adopt a pre-made Goalplan, all you have to do is modify it to suit your circumstances by adding, deleting, and changing obstacles and tasks, and by setting dates. Our pre-made Goalplans also provide helpful details and recommended resources to assist you.
When should I adopt a pre-made Goalplan versus create my own?
The pre-made Goalplans in myGoals.com are designed to give you a template from which to start. Look at some of them to see examples of typical obstacles and tasks. If you adopt a pre-made plan, expect to edit it to suit your situation by adding, deleting, and changing obstacles, tasks and due dates. A pre-made Goalplan also provides helpful details and recommended resources to assist you in your goal pursuit.
Pre-made Goalplans do not exist for every category, nor can they be written for many uniquely personal goals. You'll create more personalized Goalplans yourself by significantly modifying a related pre-made Goalplan or creating your own Goalplan from scratch using our simple step-by-step process.
Whether you modify a pre-made Goalplan or create one from scratch, the more you tailor it to your situation, the more effective it will be for you. Spend time thinking through the obstacles and tasks that apply to you. You will learn about yourself in the process and dramatically increase your ability to accomplish the goal.
What if I can't find a pre-made Goalplan that suits me?
You have two options if you can't find the pre-made Goalplan you're looking for.
* First, if you find a pre-made Goalplan that is similar, then you can use that as a starting point. Once you've adopted a pre-made Goalplan, you can edit every piece of it, including re-naming, adding, and removing any element. So, for instance, if you have a goal to pay off your student loans, you might begin with our pre-made Goalplan titled "To Pay Off My Debt" and then modify it to apply only to your student loans.
* If you can't find a similar pre-made Goalplan, then you should create your own Goalplan from scratch using our step-by-step process. It's a very simple and fun process for creating a comprehensive plan for accomplishing your goal.
If you set a lot of goals, most of them will be made from scratch.
Do I need a reason for having a goal?
You likely have a reason (or multiple reasons) for every goal you set, whether you realize it or not. It's worth knowing for certain what the reasons are, in order to clarify that you're pursuing the right goal, for the right reason.
For example, suppose somebody has the goal, "to buy a bigger boat than my brother's."
Asking the question "why a bigger boat?" could shed light on the fact that this person is compelled to compete with and out-do his brother. If so, perhaps there are other issues to be addressed such as self-esteem and respect, that owning a larger boat will not solve. Perhaps a more appropriate goal would be "to earn my brother's respect." Clearly, identifying the root obstacles and tasks required to accomplish such a goal could have a profound impact on this person's life that could not be achieved with a boat of any size.
On the other hand, perhaps the reason for a bigger boat is that our goal-setter always felt cramped on his brother's boat, and that it would be too small to live aboard for a week. If the goal is really to be able to take extended trips in a boat, then that might suggest yet a different type of goal.
In each case, honest evaluation of why you want to achieve the goal can lead to insights and personal discovery. Know what you are doing, and know why you are doing it.
The more fully you understand why you want something, the more motivated you will be to keep working at it until you have accomplished it.
Staying on Track
What else can I do to accomplish my goal?
The most important step is to create a Goalplan that can work:
* Break big pieces of the goal down into small steps.
* Be sure you've listed all the relevant obstacles and the tasks needed to overcome them.
* Assign dates realistically. Adjust them as necessary.
* Set your reminders to keep you on track. Reminders are defaulted to weekly emails but you can make them more or less frequent, or program them to notify you at specific times.
* Think of the Goalplan as dynamic, intended to be changed as necessary. Add, rename, or delete obstacles and tasks as the situation warrants.
* Read the "notes" included in pre-made Goalplans, as they include many useful tips. Add your own notes as work on any goal.
Some other tips:
* Solicit the encouragement of supportive family members and friends.
* Avoid the discussion of your goals with naysayers.
* myGoals.com pre-made Goalplans include expert content and recommended solutions for completing your tasks. Links to other resources are also provided to help you get there.
* Don't stop, even if you get side-tracked or discouraged. Just get back on track and keep plodding forward. The best way to ensure your success is simply to keep on going. The accumulation of many small steps equals significant progress and the further you go, the easier it gets.
What if I get discouraged?
If you feel discouraged, it's probably the result of not meeting one of your own expectations. Ask yourself, "Was the expectation realistic in the first place?" If not, you have no reason to feel discouraged. Simply create a new goal (or tasks) that you feel are realistic and keep on going.
But if you believe your expectations are realistic and you're just not making progress, you need to figure out why. Review your Goalplan and ask yourself, "What obstacles are hindering my progress?" Have you identified all the obstacles? Have you listed appropriate tasks to overcome those obstacles? Are the dates assigned to those tasks realistic? Are you utilizing the recommended resources and solutions? Are you just procrastinating? If so, why? Assess the circumstances and modify your Goalplan—and actions—as necessary.
For more, see "What if I can't complete a goal?"
What if I can't complete a goal?
There are a number of good approaches to take if you find that you are having difficulty in completing one of your goals, particularly if you begin to fundamentally doubt whether the goal is achieveable or worth the effort.
* First, don't get discouraged.
It's worth noting that many of life's most difficult accomplishments are also some of the most worthwhile. And the most noteworthy accomplishments are, by definition, not common. That's because, if something were easy, then everyone would be doing it and it would no longer be very noteworthy. Not only is there nothing wrong with taking on tough challenges, many believe there is something wrong with only taking on easy goals that require no real effort or growth.
* Recognize partial accomplishment.
Partial accomplishment is still accomplishment. Suppose you're living a sedentary lifestyle and you set a goal to start running 10 miles every week. If you only manage to run eight miles most weeks, then it's important to recognize that this is a huge improvement over running none at all and that you have been much more successful than if you had never set the goal in the first place. Acknowledging partial success is very important if you intend to set challenging or lofty goals.
* Break large, difficult goals into smaller, manageable goals.
Large, difficult, or complex goals can be both overwhelming and discouraging if progress does not come quickly. The solution to both of these is to break the big goal into smaller goals, actually creating a separate Goalplan for each part. By shelving some of the pieces until a later date, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed or discouraged.
* Use your personal support group.
When appropriate, call on trusted family and friends to help if they can, even if it just means lending encouragement (though be careful to avoid naysayers, who sometimes reside in the same house). Try to find people who've got first-hand experience doing what you're doing trying to do. Many people will give time and advice when they meet somebody else who's curious or passionate about whatever it is they're passionate about.
* Internalize the lesson of perseverence.
It is usually true that something, no matter how difficult, can be done if someone spends enough time trying to do it. If you think of any goal as requiring a finite number of steps (tasks), then each task completed is one step closer toward completion of the goal. Again, the key is often to break the steps down into what may seem to be absurdly simple tasks, but ones that you know you can complete, thereby making measurable progress and establishing forward momentum.
* Is it ever time to give up?
You are the only one who can decide when enough is enough and that it's time to move on to something different. Unfortunately, many people give up too soon, and some even establish a tradition of completing 50% of many things but 100% of nothing. Because our mission is to help you "get things done," and because we strongly believe in the power of perseverence, we naturally encourage you to keep on going.
However, we understand that goals change, as well as the underlying motivations for individual goals. And more importantly, we advocate and encourage balance (over the long-term, at least), meaning that an obsessive focus on one goal could eventually lead to unhealthy or destructive negligence of other aspects of one's life, such as the classic case in which career obsession leads to one's neglect of health or family obligations.
So in the interest of promoting healthy balance, we suggest that you frequently take stock of all of your goals, with an eye toward the balanced whole. If, at such a time, you decide that your emphasis needs to be shifted elsewhere for the time being, then consider rescheduling some of your goals (or tasks) for a later date. Not only is there nothing wrong with such rescheduling, myGoals.com is specifically designed to allow this flexibility.
What if my goals change?
The reality is, most people's goals do change over time. In fact, goals usually should change, at least slightly, in response to things that change around you or new life events. Think back to what was important to you five years ago, or even one year ago. Are the same goals still important to you today? Chances are, some of your short- and medium-term goals either have already been achieved, are no longer desirable, or need to be modified slightly. The Goalplans you manage in myGoals.com are a direct reflection of where you are and where you're going in life. Change is part of the process, so accept it, welcome it. (Just remember to update your Goalplans!)
But be honest with yourself. Don't pretend to no longer care about a thing if, in fact, you've just been procrastinating and you really still do care. Remember, it is okay to put off working on a goal if you make a willful, determined decision to do so for good reason, such as opting to focus on a different goal for the time-being. myGoals.com allows you to change start and end dates of any of your goals, at any time.
How do I deal with fear of failure?
Fear of failure is a genuinely scary thing for many people, and often the reason that individuals do not attempt the things they would like to accomplish. But the only true failure is failure to make the attempt. If you don't try, you gain nothing, and life is too short a thing to waste.
On the other hand, if you do try but don't succeed, then it's a learning experience for which you are probably a better person, with more knowledge and skill than before—all the better equipped for the next attempt.
If you try and only partially succeed, you still had more success than you had before. For example, a man once had a goal to save $1,000 by a certain date. On that date, he only had $850 saved. His friend told him he failed, but the friend was flat wrong because the man had $850 more than he would not have had if he hadn't set the goal in the first place. The world is not always black-and-white. Shades of gray often do exist and partial success is still success.
Think of myGoals.com as your own private, personal coach that is here for one reason only: to support you no matter what—no criticism, no judgment. In this environment, there is no basis for fear of failure.
How do I deal with actual failure?
This is important: "Failure" only occurs when you fail to try in the first place or when you give up on a goal you want to achieve without having first given it your all. Missed deadlines are not failures. Setbacks are not failures. Unexpected challenges or changing priorities are not failures (in fact, they're quite normal). Feeling discouraged doesn't mean you failed. You can only fail if you quit, and there's an easy solution to that:
Keep going or start again.
So long as you are working toward your goal and following a plan, you haven't failed. If you stop, just start back up again. And remember, every step forward, every single task you check off as completed is a small accomplishment unto itself. Focus on just taking that next baby step, then the next, then the next. If the tasks are too difficult, then break them down into absurdly simple tasks, ones that you're guaranteed to complete. It may seem ridiculous to break down something as simple as cleaning a garage into forty individual tasks, but in doing so, you can build momentum with each task checked off. It's a bit like playing a game with yourself, but it really works.
See also, "What if I can't complete a goal?"
What if a new obstacle comes up?
Expect unexpected obstacles to come up. When they do, add them to your Goalplan and create a list of tasks to overcome that obstacle. Part of the skill in achieving goals is learning to deal with adversity, setbacks, and surprises. Be flexible and take them in stride. Be willing to change your plan or change your timeline. Just don't abandon your goal if it's something you truly want.
What if my goals depend on other people or things out of my control?
If you choose to set a goal in which the outcome is dependent on the actions of somebody else, acknowledge now that, through no fault of your own, you may not reach that goal. For example, the goal "To toilet train my daughter by the end of the week" is largely dependent on your daughter's cooperation. That doesn't mean it's not a good or worthy goal, it simply requires a more flexible frame of mind—you can't force someone else to adhere to your plan.
Matters of chance or competition are similar. Winning a game, a pageant, or admission to a particularly selective school may be worthy of your efforts and a good goal. But again, accept that the outcome, though influenced by your actions, is not entirely in your control.
If you pursue one or more goals like this, be sure to set and pursue several other goals in which you are entirely in control of the outcome. Your life shouldn't be left too much to chance—take control of as much as you possibly can. Wherever possible, aim to accomplish tasks that tilt the odds in your favor.
How do I stay focused and on track?
First, accept personal responsibility for staying on track. It's not up to anyone else, just you. You alone decide what you want to accomplish, and when. Life has a way of distracting us from what we'd like to be doing much of the time, so use the reminders and resources of myGoals.com to help keep part of your attention on your short- and long-term goals.
Most importantly, don't ignore your Goalplan reminders. If you fall behind, refocus your efforts, update your Goalplan, change any deadlines that need to be changed, and keep at it. Take short and easy baby-steps if necessary, but keep on going. You'll keep getting closer and eventually you will get there.
How do I avoid procrastination?
As for procrastinating with respect to actually sitting down and setting your goals, the answer is simple—do it now. That's it; just do it now. Take some step, no matter small. Do something right this moment while you are sitting at the computer, such as setting a goal (or even just starting a Goalplan which you'll complete later) or setting a task. Simply stating your intentions in this way is a powerful first step.
If you don't know what your goals are,
then set the following goal right now:
"To identify my goals and enter them
into myGoals.com within one week."
Don't worry if the goals you set aren't perfect.
You can always change them later. The point is to
do something right now.
To avoid procrastination when working on tasks for a goal, make sure to schedule the time and place to get the tasks done. Then protect that appointment so nothing else interferes. Most people procrastinate as a result of not planning when to do the task. Use myGoals.com's task reminders to keep you on track. Always read the reminders you receive and either complete the task at that time or reschedule for some time that makes more sense.
What if I miss a deadline?
First of all, don't worry. Life is complex and things beyond your control will come up. This includes not only unexpected problems, but unexpected opportunities as well. No matter how well you plan, you must remain flexible and able to adapt to your environment.
It's okay to change dates as you go.
Recognize that most deadlines are self-imposed and act as a tool to empower and motivate yourself. They exist to help you complete a task, not to cause you stress or feelings of failure if you miss them. As you pursue a goal, task deadlines can be re-set as circumstances warrant. When a task is past-due, either:
a) complete the task and check it off, or
b) immediately reset the deadline to a new, realistic date and keep working on the task.
Don't let date slippage discourage your goal-setting outlook. If you miss a date for a task or a goal, simply re-assign it with a new realistic date. Don't sweat it, just keep moving forward.
What if I get stuck on a task?
First ask yourself whether the task is necessary. It is okay to delete a task if you do not feel it propels you forward to the completion of your goal.
Then ask "Is it realistic?" Can you do it? If not, consider modifying the task or seeking assistance. Don't assume you have to do it alone. Help exists in many forms. Consider speaking to subject matter experts such as instructors, advisors, coaches, tutors, supervisors, or anyone who has successfully dealt with a similar task before. Knowledge can be found in online resources, books, audiocassette programs, publications, CD-ROM software and distance learning programs. Encouragement can be found in your friends and family, co-workers, and other people who share the same goal.
If a task seems too big to handle, ask yourself what obstacles are preventing you from completing the task. Consider breaking the task into smaller, more manageable pieces—even to the point where they seem absurdly simple. You might even consider converting the task into an entire Goalplan of its own. For instance, if your goal is to sell your home and if doing so requires landscaping the yard first, then create a new Goalplan, "to landscape the yard," rather than merely trying to complete it as a task in your Goalplan titled "to sell my house."
Next, consider whether the obstacle can ultimately be overcome some other way, using an entirely different strategy that would require completely different tasks.
Finally, be persistent. There is little that can't be done when a person continues trying.
Getting the Most from myGoals.com Features
Here are some tips and comments related to specific features of myGoals.com. For actual step-by-step instructions on how to use a particular feature, see the next section of this Help Center, "Using myGoals.com."
I was taught that goals must always have a due date; what is an "on-going" goal?
See above: "Must All Goals Have Deadlines?"
What do I do when I accomplish a goal?
First, congratulate yourself! The achievement of any goal, large or small, is a noteworthy accomplishment. Share the news with your family and friends, especially those who have been supporting your efforts. Include them in your success, and be sure to acknowledge their contributions, no matter how small. If you've attached a reward (such as buying something for yourself if you reach the goal on time), this is the time to enjoy it.
To mark the goal as done, click on the red "Goal Accomplished" button at the top right corner of that goal's page:
Some people use the excitement and momentum of the moment to immediately set a new goal.
Once you've marked your Goalplan as completed, it will be moved from your list of current Goalplans to your "Completed Goals" page.
Why do I have to list a goal's obstacles?
Part of the effectiveness of the patent-pending myGoals.com methodology comes from recognizing what problems, challenges, and obstacles are standing between you and achieving your goals. Most goal-setting techniques overlook this step, instead jumping to a list of "action steps" that may or may not effectively achieve the goal. By identifying exactly what the obstacles are and creating a specific plan to overcome them, myGoals.com helps ensure you are pursuing a plan that can lead to goal achievement.
We intentionally do not refer to obstacles as "challenges," "opportunities," or other feel-good euphemisms. The word "obstacle" is not negative, it's neutral. It is simply something that stands between where you are and where you want to be. Once you remove the obstacles, there's nothing left to do but cross the finish line.
While the myGoals.com process does not dwell on the obstacles once your Goalplan is created, it is an important step for creating a much more effective plan.
Any obstacle can be removed, added, or edited at any time.
How frequently should I opt to receive reminders?
For any given task, you can elect to receive one or more reminders for that task, at any interval you like. You can have reminders sent to you:
* One time only (on a specific date)
* Any selection of days each week (such as Tuesdays and Thursdays of every week)
* Any selection of dates each month (such as the 1st and 15th of each month)
* Some number of days prior to the task's due date
* Randomly (see details below)
* No reminder
(We combine all reminders related to the same goal into one email per day in order to keep you from receiving an unmanageable number of total emails.)
The interesting thing is that, other than the "prior to due date" option, these reminders need not necessarily coincide with when your tasks are due. That is, the settings are designed to allow you to be reminded at any time about a particular task, such as when you plan to be working on the task.
You might also use reminders just to keep the task or goal in mind even if you don't intend to focus on that task or goal until much later. So for instance, you may have a long-term goal to do something several years from now. And even though you may not be able to focus on that goal right now (perhaps you're still in school or busy raising a family), you can use the reminders to keep that goal ever-present in your thoughts and plans, such as by opting to receive a random reminder—say, several times per year—to read a related book or browse the Web for the latest trends or information related to that long-term goal.
You are the judge as to how best to put this tool to use. Many people use myGoals.com as a daily planner, with a large number of ordinary things coming due each week, such as business meetings, organizing a happy hour, paying the bills, or picking up the dry cleaning. But virtually all people use myGoals.com for long-range planning, looking ahead multiple months or years to tackle some of life's more challenging and fascinating goals.
What are "random" reminders used for?
As the old joke goes, "spontaneity has its time and place." It turns out that the joke is completely true. There are certain things—life's important moments akin to stopping to smell the roses—that can and should be done periodically, but not necessarily according to any specific calendar event.
You may set task reminders to intervals of:
* Randomly sent a few times per week
* Randomly sent a few times per month
* Randomly sent a few times per year
These are particularly helpful in reminding you to perform a recurring task "spontaneously," such as:
* Task: "Compliment my assistant on something done well"
* Task: "Call my parents"
* Task: "Take my kids out for ice cream"
* Task: "Take the afternoon off and play a round of golf"
When is a task a "milestone"?
Completion of certain tasks represents significant progress toward achieving a goal. These important tasks, called "milestones," are noteworthy or perhaps even newsworthy to your family and friends.
For example, in the Goalplan, "to get my private pilot's license" a milestone task might be:
"To pass my FAA written exam"
or
"To fly solo"
Each milestone you reach is a major, tangible step closer to your goal. It has special meaning as a measure of success, even though the complete goal has not yet been fully realized.
How should I use the "notes" fields in a Goalplan?
The "notes" fields in a pre-made Goalplan are often filled with helpful explanations, recommended resources, tips, and suggestions regarding he task. In Goalplans you create yourself, use the notes field in a similar way, inserting links to other web pages, phone numbers, research notes, or anything you think of that is related to that particular task that you might want to recall later.
When should I use a "recurring" task?
Most tasks are completed once, checked-off, and done-forever. A recurring task, however, is a different kind of task that you intend to repeat over and over. For example:
Recurring Task
Reminder
Go to the gym
Mon, Wed, Fri
Pay bills
1st and 15th of each month
Change oil in car
Every 90 days
Buy spouse flowers for no reason
Randomly, a few times per year
The use of recurring tasks and their associated reminder schedules is a very powerful tool for helping you keep on track with various goals. Keep in mind that some recurring tasks will have a start and end date, such as a task to run every day for two months leading up to a marathon.
But a perhaps even more powerful aspect of recurring tasks is that they can help you establish permanent lifestyle changes that might otherwise be difficult to adopt. As such, some recurring tasks may relate to things that you plan to do for the forseeable future and therefore require no end-date, such as a recurring task to read to your children every night before bed.
Other Tips
Should I keep my goals private?
Obviously, some goals are so personal that you would keep them private or only disclose to your closest confidants. That said, it is a well-known tenant of goal-setting that you are more likely to achieve your goals if you tell your family and friends about them. Not only will you want to avoid looking inconsistent for abandoning a goal, but their support and assistance can be invaluable. Remember to share your goals with those who are in a position to encourage you.
Avoid discussing your goals with naysayers. It's unfortunate, but many people who see others striving to improve themselves are reminded that they themselves could use some improvement. Rather than setting goals of their own, they find it easier to belittle or ridicule the goals of others. While some goal-setters derive motivation from naysayers ("I'll show them!"), most find it best to avoid such topics with negative people.
What if there is an unsupportive person in my life?
Either tune out the negativity or simply distance yourself. Don't let their negativity pull you down. If that person is your spouse or lives in the same household, then you may have a more complicated problem. Try to understand whether the other person is critical of a particular goal of yours or of goals in general. Also try to understand whether the person has his or her own goals and demonstrate your encouragement for the things he or she would like to accomplish. You might also look for ways to work together by coming up with goals you both agree on and can pursue together.
In many cases, it's simply easiest to keep your goals to yourself or share them only with supportive people. (See also "Should I keep my goals private?")
How do I get others (family and friends, etc.) to set goals?
Even if somebody you care for doesn't routinely set goals, everyone has something they want—someplace they want to visit or something they want to learn or do or buy. What they may not have is the knowledge, tools, discipline, or belief to accomplish or even begin pursuit of that goal.
While myGoals.com can help them with the knowledge, tools, and discipline parts...belief is internal. If fear of failure (or fear of success) is the problem keeping the person from pursuing their goal, then the solution is to start small. Accomplishing small, simple tasks, then small goals, followed by larger goals, builds the habit of progress that breeds confidence. You can't make someone pursue a goal, but you can offer encouragement and support. You can help them and you can set an example. Be sure to tell them about myGoals.com!
"Obstacles" sounds negative. Can't I use a different term like "challenges" or "opportunities"?
No. Our patent-pending goal-setting process is designed specifically to target and eliminate your obstacles. But you can't eliminate something if you don't call attention to it. Obstacles are not inherently negative, they are simply things that stand between you and your objective. Consider this example: The freezer door stands between you and the ice cubes. Is a freezer door inherently negative? No, it's simply something that you have to deal with before you get your ice. Some doors are harder to open then others (and some are locked), just as obstacles may be simple or hard. But before you overcome them, you must identify them. Once you have, you can systematically work at overcoming or going around them. There's nothing negative about tackling something head on. Indeed, it would be detrimental to pretend it's not there or to ignore it.
Is myGoals.com a business expense or tax deductible?
If you use myGoals.com to help you at your job, then your employer may allow you to be reimbursed for using the service. If so, simply make a copy of your credit card statement with the myGoals.com charge highlighted and submit it to your employer.
If you are self-employed, then you can claim the amount as a business expense if you use myGoals.com to set goals related to your business.
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